“Epiblog”

Ok, I sit down to write about yesterday feeling a bit pressurized as Sam Crowley had taken time to tell everyone at the I.C.E. about my website. I wish I could offer something enlightening or for that matter remember all the names as well as I can remember the faces. But as those who know me have come to recognize, I tend to often be slightly off in my own little dementia. From there I can only write down where my brain was going and often I’ve found it travels it’s own crazy path. .

Pass To Play

At 5 am on a rainy and foggy day you are alone. At 5 am even the dog doesn’t bother to get up to keep you company. The cat on the other hand is happy to chase you around demanding food. Puttering around the house getting ready to leave for the last day of the ACA I.C.E. I felt like Vincent Price gathering up stakes for another day of killing vampires. In this case I was gathering up repair kits, first aid, dry suit, extra warm clothes and all the other little do-dads I may need for the day. I’m pretty mindful that if you’re going to hang with new instructors for a day you need to have all your “I’s” dotted. When I had finally carried my last load out through the darkness to the jeep, I returned to the kitchen and took a few minutes to just sit in the silence and contemplate all the nothingness of the morning. Sipping coffee at the table before the birds start to sing you truly are the “Last Man on Earth“.

At 6 am the Fog turns violet. The cars passing by in the other lane are lifeless animated lights that come out of nowhere just to disappear seconds later like a scene from Close Encounters. Because my brain has a ‘thing’ for moody drama, I put on a Cold Play cd and let the world warp around me in a high-speed Dali-esque landscape for the next hour and a half. The swirling fog and melting landscape flew by in a timeless wash until the urban landscape of Milwaukee rose out of the fog. Suddenly life in oils had to be put aside so I could navigate.

Thankfully John Browning is a detail guy and his directions were concise and took me quickly to the marina. The little parking ticket booth was still boarded up so I avoided having to figure out how to pay the parking fee with only plastic in my wallet. (Or so I thought at the time.) One other lone red & black kayak was being loaded as I parked next to the water. Bits and pieces of various crafts stood out of the fog and again tugged at my imagination as I shut off the truck and set to the task of unloading my warhorse. After a few minutes conversation with the owner of the other boat, a flood of kayaks was unleashed over the hill and the parking lot was full of questions and laughter mixed with the banging and clanking of gear. The final day was upon us.

I hadn’t seen Sam in a year but he looked exactly as I remembered him from my I.C.E. as he walked over to chat about the day. My task was to be an “extra set of eyes”. Something I was happy to do even if my glasses kept fogging up! I was looking forward to assisting with the exam without having to “prove” myself. Sam quoted Nigel Dennis who said once something to the effect of ” don’t tell me your certification. What have you done since then?”. Returning to the I.C.E. I could not help but rewind through all the experiences I had had since I was tested last year. I remembered being newly certified then running off to California to have Shawna Franklin quickly show me how far I had to go. I thought of Kayak surfing in Pacific fog, then coming back to be involved in my first real rescue in the cold December waters off of Two Rivers. The day my kayak was smashed against the break wall by confused 5 footers. A day of slipping through Great Lakes icebergs with JB. Flashbacks of Justine Curgenven flying by me as I was still finding my footings in the waves off North Manitou Island. Watching Ken Fink padding in those same waves like it was a lazy Sunday afternoon. I heard Richard Kocher telling jokes on the beach as the sunset sank in the water behind him. I thought about each symposium I had worked and all the many faces. Keith, Lori, Doug and so many others. The crazy Black Parrot crew dancing with their paddles to music I could’nt hear. I remembered standing next to great instructors feeling like an imposter as we introduced classes. Then being on my own on Lake Superior teaching braces and sweeps. Teaching at Rutabaga in the same water where I took my first kayak class. Then in whoosh here we are back in Milwaukee. One year down.

Now gathering on the concrete walls of this urban landing were many new faces and some very familiar ones. If any of them were as nervous as I was in their place it did not show. Everyone seemed confident and jovial as we slipped out into the fog.

This last day of the I.C.E. is taken up with scenarios as I had mentioned in a previous post. Each candidate is put though a little play where they are in charge as things start falling apart around them. Each scenario is chosen by the Instructor Trainers to ferret out little elements of the students character. Someone shy and less assertive for instance may be put in a situation where they need to be assertive and decisive in their leadership. Will they be able to keep their classes safe? Will they rise up to control the situation? This is where you try to get the answers. The downside or fun side depending on how you look at it, is that most scenarios are pretty trumped up. In real life you almost never face that multiple break downs you see here. I could only laugh or feel empathy for the poor candidates going crazy with groups of un-cooperative students. At the same time you could also see lights going on as people saw situations in a new light or unimagined issues come to their attention. One of the best things in the world is to see a person awaken to a new thought or concept. You can almost see the light blaze from their eyes. Which in this case we needed under the fog and dark clouds of the day. The hours passed quickly as people fell out of their boats, instructors yelled and giggled, rollers lifted and sank, and passers by checked to see if all was ok. (Nice to see you again, Cindy) Then in no time we were paddling back toward a shrouded opening in the break wall.

As we returned around the heaped stone wall the rolling Jell-O seas calmed quickly behind it’s protection, everyone in their own way was realizing the exam was over. They had done what they could. People were tired but exhilarated, relived and proud, introspective, yet talkative. 3 days of testing comes to it’s end in this short paddle through a maze of moored sailboats and bouncing buoys. Now they only needed to load boats and wait. Wait until their name was called and they could walk over for their short chat with the Instructor Trainers. Now they would hear how they did, what level they certified at, and what they needed to do to move forward if they chose to do so. You have to feel a little sorry for the one at the end of the list who waits a hour for this final “judgment”. You see each person walk over to a bench just out of earshot. You see lips moving and expressions changing interspersed with occasional loud or nervous laughter. Then they return. Some tell you how they did, some choose not to share. Then the next walks over. Then the next, until your name is called. Then comes the long drive home. For one candidate this meant St. Louis.

Now the fun starts. What will everyone do with their shiny new ACA certifications? Where will the go with it? Thing is, the ACA certification means a lot to some and nothing to others. Certification does not mean you are a great kayaker. Or sometimes even a good one. What it does mean is that an effort to be a good TEACHER was put forth. Skills were taught and witnessed by other more experienced instructors and they felt the candidate could teach and “such and such” a level in “such and such” situations. To steal the concept from Sam, in some ways certification is really a “pass to play”. Regardless of previous skills, now is when some of these new folks will start moving forward and gaining experience. Some becoming truly great instructors and teachers. Doors will open. Opportunities to teach will come along. But each individual will have to find their place, prioritize their time, and seek out opportunities & experiences. Next year they will see October approching and think about their I.C.E. and reflect upon the year before. What stories will they tell? And where will they go next? Sitting down at this computer I’m asking myself those same questions.

Congratulations to all the brand new 2005 Certified ACA Instructors! And personally, to Nydia, Dick, & Elizabeth. Thanks to Sam & John for letting me sit in.