Breathe
Published December 22, 2005 | 
Breathe, breathe in the air
Don’t be afraid to care
Leave, but don’t leave me
Look around Choose your own ground
- Pink Floyd
“CPR however is almost never successful in situations where a defibrillator is not available. There is not even certainty that the recovery rate without intervention would be any different. The best that could be hoped for is that CPR might extend by a few minutes the time for a defibrillator to arrive before brain damage occurs. Clearly there is a reality disconnect here. CPR has become a given in wilderness training. The process itself has taken over and the CPR certification programme gained a life of its own, launching boldly into areas where it has lost its relevance” – J. dowd, Wilderness, Jan 2005
I get up each morning and fuss around the house a for time; start my coffee and turn on the little heater in my office. I wake up the computer with a shake of my mouse, and hold my breath while I check the email and browse CNN & BBC. By then I will know if I want to stay out of bed. If I decide life is worth living, I check my website statistics. I have 3 major local tourism sites to check, since they are a good part of my business, then I check this site as it is my joy. IF I see someone is still actually visiting the site, I sit down and start working on my journal before my brain goes cold.
Now isn’t it great how you never know what you’re going to read, hear, see or experience each day? You think you do, but life always has some little surprises planned. Even a flat tire can be an adventure, and sometimes people say the strangest things. But let’s take the above quote from John Dowd as an example. I could have never imagined I would get up today, end up on a German message board and see IN ENGLISH (thankfully for me), a reprint of an article by a well know kayak instructor; implying CPR (as it relates to kayaking) is unnecessary dogma. Ok, so there is certainly something to think about for the day.
Actually Mr. Dowd had me up to that point. I certainly agree with him that there is a huge gulf between academic learning and experience. I agree that dogma is one of the most dangerous parts of instruction. Well, “dogma” is just dangerous regardless. But being a former EMT, I’m really sold on the CPR dogma thing. My gut says everyone should know CPR. But he is correct that CPR in-of-itself will almost never save someone. In most cases, if their heat stops, you do need to get them to a defibrillator, which is not something easily pulled off from a kayak. Off the cuff, it does seem situations would be rare where you could perform CPR until you got the victim to shore and help arrived. AND do it within a reasonable amount of time as to give the victim a chance. Yet on the other hand, CPR can, albeit rarely, work on it’s own. In very limited situations. Why did the heart stop exactly? Did it stop? Maybe we just need rescue breaths? And maybe, just once, you will be able to get the timing right. Maybe you’ll be paddling 10 feet off shore, where a police car with a defib is parked. Who knows. I can see his point, but I’m just not ready to let go of my dogma.
-d
Happy Holidays. . .
Published December 21, 2005 | 
“CHRISTMAS AT SEA”The sheets were frozen hard, and they cut the naked hand;
The decks were like a slide, where a seamen scarce could stand;
The wind was a nor’wester, blowing squally off the sea;
And cliffs and spouting breakers were the only things a-lee.
They heard the surf a-roaring before the break of day;
But ’twas only with the peep of light we saw how ill we lay.
We tumbled every hand on deck instanter, with a shout,
And we gave her the maintops’l, and stood by to go about.
All day we tacked and tacked between the South Head and the North;
All day we hauled the frozen sheets, and got no further forth;
All day as cold as charity, in bitter pain and dread,
For very life and nature we tacked from head to head.
We gave the South a wider berth, for there the tide-race roared;
But every tack we made we brought the North Head close aboard:
So’s we saw the cliffs and houses, and the breakers running high,
And the coastguard in his garden, with his glass against his eye.
The frost was on the village roofs as white as ocean foam;
The good red fires were burning bright in every ‘long-shore home;
The windows sparkled clear, and the chimneys volleyed out;
And I vow we sniffed the victuals as the vessel went about.
The bells upon the church were rung with a mighty jovial cheer;
For it’s just that I should tell you how (of all days in the year)
This day of our adversity was blessed Christmas morn,
And the house above the coastguard’s was the house where I was born.
O well I saw the pleasant room, the pleasant faces there,
My mother’s silver spectacles, my father’s silver hair;
And well I saw the firelight, like a flight of homely elves,
Go dancing round the china-plates that stand upon the shelves.
And well I knew the talk they had, the talk that was of me,
Of the shadow on the household and the son that went to sea;
And O the wicked fool I seemed, in every kind of way,
To be here and hauling frozen ropes on blessed Christmas Day.
They lit the high sea-light, and the dark began to fall.
“All hands to loose topgallant sails,” I heard the captain call.
“By the Lord, she’ll never stand it,” our first mate Jackson, cried.
…”It’s the one way or the other, Mr. Jackson,” he replied.
She staggered to her bearings, but the sails were new and good,
And the ship smelt up to windward just as though she understood.
As the winter’s day was ending, in the entry of the night,
We cleared the weary headland, and passed below the light.
And they heaved a mighty breath, every soul on board but me,
As they saw her nose again pointing handsome out to sea;
But all that I could think of, in the darkness and the cold,
Was just that I was leaving home and my folks were growing old.
By Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-94).
—————————————–
Sadly it seems only those on the extreme ends of the spectrum have a voice. It tends to skew our world view. It’s way to easy to see the world around us in a series of hard lines. Luckily, I hope, enough of us know that this high-contrast view is not real. And with our modern attention span, I’m sure this issue in the States of “Merry Christmas” vrs “Happy Holidays” will pass in the dropping of the New Year’s ball. For the most part I’m happy to be a spectator. But this little row just sort of “niggles” (to use a friends term) at me. It seems worrying to find in “Peace on earth” a call to arms. It also seems to belittle the season to occupy it with battles for over signage in discount stores. (Frankly I’m offended by 10 foot tall posters of Garth Brooks, but I’m not sure there’s anything I can do about it.) We’ve been way too edgy lately. To rigid, and too scared. There’s too many loud voices and too much broken glass. Fear does not bring out our best qualities. One thing is sure, world history is rife with people using violence, fear, and anger to force their religious views on others. I hope we can remember, because it never seems to come to a good end.
-d
Mr. Foster’s Little Secret
Published December 20, 2005 | 
Oh you silly thing
You’ve really gone and done it now
Oh you silly thing
You’ve really gone and done it now
- sex pistols
I know what you’re wondering.
It’s pretty sad, I know, but I had no interest in paddling one of Nigel’s boats. (Sorry, sorry, I’m really sorry, really. .) I’d seen them at various symposiums but they never jumped out. I suppose there was no real reason other than I have my Explorer so I don’t long for a new love.
However all summer I’d been seeing a constant quiet undercurrent of wonder. Little background conversations behind willow trees and whispers around fires. Folks have really been suffering their imaginations with dreams of Nigel Foster’s Rumour. One could only imagine what his new kayak was going to look like. Why was it going to be at Current Designs instead of Seaward which is home to Nigel’s other designs!? That certainly fueled the vocal campfires of summer, especially after a group of Wisconsinites actually toured the Current Designs facility. They came back saying, “The Rumour is there, but we could not see it”. Wow! Just like Groom Lake. Nigel’s new kayak was an X-Plane!
Myself, I had not paddled any of Nigel’s kayaks so I was an outsider to the anticipation. Then at BCU Week while in his class the inquisition began. Students wanting to know the low down about the Rumour. Nigel was amazingly tight lipped and would only smile in that way that makes some people believe they’re in on a secret, and others realize he’s not saying a damn thing! As for me, all I could say was I’d never paddled one of his boats. Well, that would not stand! So it was not long before he had me launching an aqua-green Silhouette out into a little Georgia marsh. Obviously he did’nt know how neurotic I am. I hate that bit where people expect you to come back with an opinion. I’m the worst person to put in that position. Just knowing I’m supposed to have an opinion and state it makes me break out in hives. How can I really “experience” this boat when I know I have to tell the guy who designed it what I think??. (Ok, Charlie Brown, get it together. You can do this. . .) Thing is, it always takes me weeks to become aware of a conviction. Slow synapse I suppose. It’s like being in a restaurant and having someone say “you’ve got to try this!”. I always say, “ah, It’s Ok.”. I don’t mean to be dreary, but I just don’t get an instant ‘rush’. I’m not wired for instant opinions. Look how long it took me to write this blog!!
Then to be honest I really had not expected to enjoy the boat as much as I did. On first impressions new kayaks strike me as too linear. Yes, I know that probably makes them faster and more efficient. But my heart is called to swept bows and curvy sterns. The original Valley Nordkapp is a great example of a curvy sea kayak. It’s looks like a Viking marauder. But frankly if I put that romantic view aside, the Silhouette was about as perfect as a kayak could be to me.
So that brings me back to the Rumour which has finally been revealed. All 16 feet of her and less than 20 inches wide. According to the website;
“Nigel designed the Rumour for low-effort cruising and a slim fit. It has a buoyant bow and low profile stern, with the shallow-arch hull between hard chines running into a shallow “V” toward the stern. Recessed deck fittings include a compass recess forward of the front hatch, with bow and stern hatches and a day-hatch.
- d
* Rumour photo lifted from Current Designs.
Kayak Nerd
Published December 19, 2005 | 
Then did he raise on high
the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying,
“Bless this, O Lord,
that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits,
in thy mercy.” – python
So, I was reading an old article by Alex Mathers. In his article called “Joe Kayaker and his-not-so amazing technicolor dreamboat”, which is really funny by the way; He suggests all sea kayakers are “clean, quiet, politically sensitive, over-educated environmentalists with 2.4 kids and a golden retriever. . ” OK.Well, I’m guessing there are at least a few kayak nerds out there too. Doing things like, oh, I don’t know, browsing blogs while watching, “Monty Python & the Holy Grail”.
Happy Monday!
-d
* Article Reference: Adventure Kayak Magazine, Spring 2003
Frozen
Published December 18, 2005 | 
You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You’re frozen – madonna
Wear A Dry Suit. Ok, so it’s pretty obvious that you really must have a dry suit if you’re thinking about venturing out on Lake Michigan or Lake Superior this time of year. You also have to be sure you’re wearing enough layers of wicking material underneath. I get a lot colder with my breathable drysuit than I did with my old non-breathable garbage bag. I still miss that drysuit occasionally. On the coldest days I tend to wear 3 or 4 layers before I’m comfortable.
Take food & water. You need both of these to maintain energy. When I finally leaned to drink more water in the winter it really made a difference.
Wear a hat. Just listen to mommy on this one, dear. 
. I also have a 5mm dive hood that I wear when I know I’m going rolling.
Gloves. I know a lot of people who can’t find gloves that keep their hands warm. I don’t know of any either really. They all seem to work a bit, but in a couple hours you’re hands are frozen. Try Pogies. Some friends have also worn rubber dish gloves. They seem to really help, even if you look stupid. Also we’ve taken to carrying extra pairs in the day hatch. It’s helps to change gloves over the course of the day. If for nothing else just to feel your fingers again for a few minutes.
Have an exit strategy. Sure you can seal launch off a 3 foot ledge 50 yards from shore. But how are you planning to get back up? If you don’t know don’t do it. Remember ice moves. Is your open lead going to stay open? What if? What if? What if? Drill yourself for a solution to as may what if’s as you can imagine.
Be a gear head. All your safely gear is really important now. VHF, cell, flairs, dry clothes, emergency blankets, etc., (this is not a complete list of course) I carry extra little heat packs as well. Remember the BCU Guideline. . . Have a thermos of hot coffee or tea with you. Hot brandy and cider sounds good, but alcohol is a bad idea. Save it for when you get back home.
Rivers are risky. Imagine being pinned against an ice flow. What about getting dumped and dragged under the ice? Scary stuff. I won’t go on a half frozen river. It’s just too scary to me.
Be sure you can use you’re gear in you’re winter bulky wardrobe. Especially check operation of your tow rope and radios. What about your spare paddle? Is it frozen to the deck? What if you need it? Make sure you know.
Be able to roll. I hate sounding like a rolling snob, but when I look out my window this morning and see the clear blistering 3 degree (F) air, I would be really afraid of going on the big Lakes without a roll. As a side note, after you roll check your gear again. One time I forgot to “crack” the carabineer on my tow rope. When I remembered, it took both hands for me to break it open again!
Swim. Speaking of rolling. Roll and swim in your gear in a safe environment. It’s a good idea to give your mind that experience of an ice roll in a “safe” situation before you actually need it. That cold, even if it’s only on the face can really mess with you. Be sure you’re warm enough to withstand some time swimming. I actually enjoy swimming in my drysuit sometimes. It’s mad, and wonderful.
Screw Drivers? Some people carry screw drivers. Some carry ice axes. Regardless, what if you have to drag yourself across the ice or work through a narrow lead? Have a way to move yourself without a paddle.
Have a “float plan”. Tell others where you are and what you’re doing. Ok, I’d tell you “don’t paddle solo”, but I know that there are many of us who paddle alone most of the time. It’s doubly hard to find paddling companions in the winter. If you do, tell someone. Tell them where you’re going, the route, and when to expect you back. Check in by cell if possible.
Have a bailing option. I’ve had my pump freeze up, so in the winter I take a bailing pitcher.
Have fun. What the heck are you out there for if it’s not a great big freaking good time!?
Ok, you experts. . What did I miss?
-d
Singing of Wool
Published December 16, 2005 | 
Manipulate the people for the money they pay – queensryche
This morning I woke up the middle of an epiphany. As I sat up and took my first deep breath of the new day, I froze. My eyes grew wide. I could suddenly see it all in breath-taking clarity. In this single frozen moment I realized; We’re all being controlled by a clandestine alliance of evil, greed-driven, kayak manufacturers through the manipulation of popular music. It’s all so obvious. How could we be so blind!? The pieces came together from years of lost memories and hidden ideas. Then, suddenly the damn broke. I became aware. I think It started to come to me late last night as the credits were rolling up on the last of the Lord of the rings Triad. It was subtle to be sure, but I could hear Annie Lennox singing; Across the sea, a pale moon rises. The ships have come, to carry you home“. That was the key.Like many of us I’ve been listing to music pumped into my head since I was little. Millions of voices over many formative years. Mapping and molding my future existence. What better medium for mind control? Just keep inserting words like; sea, ocean, ice, wave, blue, storm, boat, bow, moon, distance, and many other secret “code” words. Then over years of exposure you’ve created . . . a kayaker. I’M ON TO YOU!! Your days of evil are coming to an end!
Ever since I was young I had this terrible addiction to the sea. Odd considering I live as far from the ocean as one could be. Why was that? Subversive musical influence I bet! The AM radio scrambled lyrics of America singling “The ocean is a desert with it’s life underground“, was slowly manipulating my pre-adolescent synapse.
I can remember the fist time I stood on the coast and stared out into the Atlantic. It was a religious experience to me. Like a weight had been lifted. I just stared and trembled against the awesome power of the surf. How could I guess that everything I was feeling was artificial? Emotions plugged into my brain by such terrible bands as the Little River Band singing, “When you’re out on the sea alone, Starin’ at the full moon like a lover ” BASTARDS!
What about the Beach Boys?? Sure you may think it was all about surfboards. But was it? Was it really? Maybe it was like selling cigarettes to school children. Maybe The Beach Boys were just the first step in the advance marketing of Surf Boats!! “Sure they may start with a board,” The evil ones thought, “but soon enough the’ll want a whole boat.”. They were right! And what about Credence Clearwater setting the stage for every white water & river addict to come. Who could defend themselves against such an amazingly under-handed onslaught!
And don’t think for a second you may become immune or that times have changed. Far from it. They just keep at you. Why do you think I have 5 kayaks in my house!? It’s because they still control us with people like Travis who cunningly write songs like “Driftwood” with lines like; “Rivers turn to ocean, Oceans tide you home“. Hey that’s not even very poetic, but he got the word “Ocean” in there twice, repeated side by side. Now tell me that’s not evil??
Lest you think I’m cherry picking rare instances and laying them out as proof of subliminal conspiracies, just review my blog. I’ve inadvertently recorded large numbers of lyrical fly traps. Now that can’t be just coincidence. They’ve been doing it to us for years! Now they are exposed!
I bet I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Who?”. You have to be wondering. Is it all of them? Or is there just one evil master? It couldn’t be Frank Goodman could it?? No, don’t say it’s so! He wouldn’t subscribe to that would he? Not Nigel? Were the evil minions of Nigel Dennis standing in the concert hall wings, holding black PPK’s while Sting sang “Love is the 7th wave”? One can only wonder. Someone suggested it was Derrick Hutchinson who conjured up such cunning many, many years ago. Was it Mr. H who got to Jim Morrison and made him write, “lost in the sea and I know a treasure is waiting for me“??. But wait, he doesn’t manufacture kayaks. Hmmm, maybe he did influence Current Designs. . . Who would ever know? You know you can’t trust Canadians. They’re too happy. There is something wrong with that. Gotta be.
I’m not sure we’ll ever identify exactly who is sitting in that little room with the black table. But maybe we can defend ourselves. We can refuse to listing to music. We can refuse to buy another kayak. We can listen to books on tape and play Jenga instead! That’s what I’m going to do.
Well, right after Canoecopia anyway.
- X
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