He was big and bad, so he traveled to Greenland
He was big and bad, so he traveled to the land of the midnight sun
He was big and bad, so he traveled to Greenland
He was big and bad, so he traveled to a land where it always snowed
And nobody got a tan – Dead Milkmen

So, someone found this site yesterday by searching the term “Greenlander Naked Sex“. Now, it’s not odd to get weird search terms pulling up you’re website. . But this is a pretty odd search to begin with. Probably didn’t find what they were looking for. (not quite sure what they were looking for) In this case I don’t think I’m going to make too much of an effort to see that they find it.

-d

And I’ll give you a heartbeat,
And a bit of tear and flesh,
It’s not very much but while it’s there,
You can have it, you can have it. – y. ono

I woke up this morning and my brain was leaking. Good thing I have this blog to put it in. Sometimes I wake up in the morning to run on sentences. It’s like walking into the middle of a conversation. I’m not sure how long my brain had been talking to itself before I happened to walk in on it. Usually I just apologize, crawl out from under the blankets and leave the room.

So what was my brain running on about? You’ll be sorry you asked. . .

So there was this guy in New York City who when hit by a car was immediately tasked with a question. It may have come upon him right while he was flying through the air. When hit by a car and flying through the air you do have some time to wonder. Maybe you’d wonder about the landing? Maybe you’d wonder why everything sailing past was in black and white? Well, I can answer that one. It’s December, 1931 and color film is not very common. Hmm. It used to be said that we don’t dream in color. Maybe that was true back in those days. But today I think we have higher expectations.

Well, Winston Churchill (when he came to) wondered just this way; How fast would a 2,400 pound car have to be going to send a 200lbs man 30 feet? Good Question! Funny thing is, everyone tells that story but no one actually shares the answer.I was also thinking of Dr. Winston O’Boogie. On this day in 1980 I would have still been dazed over the shock of Mr. Lennon’s murder just a few days earlier. I was 15. He was my personal roll model. It was especially hard in that my father had died only a couple years earlier. Also in December. Death is hung with Christmas lights in my mind.

Like anyone I love the music, but for me I was enamored with the movement. Being born in 1965 I grew up with the Vietnam war being part of my daily experience. I have strong memories of “honor rolls” scrolling down the TV screen after the news each night. Names & towns, names & towns, down, down down. . . As a kid you always caught the honor rolls while waiting for a favorite show to come on. John & Yoko kept suggesting that peace was something easily attainable if people just wanted it. And as much as it’s naive, it’s also true. Nothing is forcing you or I to be evil, rude, or un-caring. Nothing. “War is Over, (if you want it)”. Usually as a society we just don’t want it enough.

Today most of us I think, feel pretty helpless while the powers that be dance the same dance they’ve danced since the first stone of Babylon was set. Odd how people can believe there will ever be a battle to end all battles, a war to stop all wars. There isn’t. It won’t. Sadly it’s what we do. We bicker, we battle, we wage.

But Lennon also influenced me to struggle for peace, if only in those around you. Even in our own little circles we must often battle for kindness. People who thought Lennon was just some dreamy eyed peace-monger certainly didn’t hear him swear enough! Trying to be the good you want to see in the world is kick in the gut, slap in the face, fist fight each and every day. The battle is quite often more internal, then external. Acts of kindness often begin with aggression. Kind aggression. Action. Offering. Kind words spoken, not just thought then forgotten. Yeah, it’s not easy. Just like in everything else we fail. Often atrociously. Some days, it’s hard to feel love. It’s tough to give a damn. It’s frustrating to have good deeds met with suspicion, then get up in the morning and try to do it all over again.

We’re having a snow storm today. Happy Christmas. . .

Hold on world , world hold on
It’s gonna be alright
You gonna see the light

When you’re one
really one
You get things done
like they’ve never been done
So hold on – lennon

-d

Yeah well. . .If I were a millionaire I’d buy you all monkeys for Christmas. As it is I can only afford hand made cards. So here is my Christmas gift to anyone who visits my website. NEW KAYAK WALLPAPERS!

Are you an addict if you take your 18 foot kayak in the house? Could be.

Now, here’s something really boring. There are two new galleries in the personal gallery. “We get a new boat” contains a few pics of our first couple days with the new Greenlander. “Pyranah Comes Home” is our first couple days with the whitewater boat. Yeah, not too interesting but why take pictures at all if you’re not going to put them somewhere.

I’m now working with a few folks to build a complete Wisconsin Paddling Destination Database. It will take weeks before it comes live (or less if we’re really, really good), and will take eternity to complete. However, It should be a great new resource for Wisconsin paddlers.

-d

Forgive my indecision
Then again, then again, then again
You’re always first when
No one’s on your side – Incubus

1. Wisconsin should not be confused for Australia. The water is frozen, We have no sharks, and the beaches are peaceful. But, we do have Kangaroos.
http://www.madison.com/wsj/mad/local/index.php?ntid=64669

2. If there were only one thing I could tell a first time paddler before they get in a kayak, it would be, “The long side of the paddle blade goes up!”

3. I kept planning to do a new Christmas list. But I think last years holds up pretty well.
http://www.kayakwisconsin.net/2004/12/all-i-want-for-christmas.html

4. I’m sick of clouds. Tired of grey. There’s been no sun for days. I feel fat. Fatter? I need a break. I’m really tired of the treadmill.

5. I had a conversation about paddling next season. I want to take a journey. I don’t know where. I don’t know with whom. I just know it has to be done.

6. The thing about reading Stephen Hawking is that it’s not so much hard to read, as it is hard to comprehend. In my living room I have a bowling ball & a sheet. . .

7. 11 is a bargain no matter what anyone says. .

8. Yesterday while in the car we were talking about Pop Rocks, Ice Cream Flavored Gum & Worms soda. I wish we still had Worms. I really, really do.

9. I often want to go off on little left leaning quasi-political rants. But I hold my tongue. It’s been said that one should not speak too often for fear of losing their voice. I’ve been feeling a little raspy lately.

10. Thank you. Good people always offer help. Even in the smallest little things.

11. (see 7)

-d

I don’t know what color your eyes are, baby,

But your hair is long and brown.

- Love & RocketsI’m really sorry for this post. Really. But I’ve been giggling all night and had to do it.

LOVE I’ve been looking at an awful lot of kayaking pictures over the last few days (yeah it’s cold here, and dark early) and noticed something. It seems like everyone’s wearing Body, Boat, Blade logos! It’s like “Where’s Waldo” only with little stick men and sea kayaks. And much easier than finding BCU patches for sure! Go back and check out those Gallery links from the “Freya Underground” post. Then go get out the latest copy of Kayak Touring by Canoe & Kayak Magazine. They’re everywhere! Hmmm, makes me want to go back and read the Adventure Kayak Magazine article about their Iceland circumnavigation. Remember those beautiful black Explorers!??

ROCKETS

Speaking of the Kayak Touring magazine; I was standing in Borders the other day with the issue in my hand, crying real tears I was laughing so hard. Now how often does someone use the phrase “Rocket Up The Bum”? Well, it’s better than a stick in the eye. . . I think. . .

The funny part of this was that I picked up that magazine while Mary was looking all over for a “Love & Rockets” CD. Can you imagine!??

And finally, while I’m on about this issue of KT, have a look at that shot of Simon Osborne of NDK. Don’t cha just want to give him a big hug?? Aw, ya do! Ya know you wanna. . . (There goes my customer support right out the window!!)

Tomarrow’s post will be much more useful. I promise. Something like “How to keep Tuna Fish fresh in a day hatch”.

from now on
call me “traveler”
this winter’s first shower
- Matsuo Basho (1644-1694)

The world ended just off the bow of my boat. Direction and time were lost in the fog and snow. The darkness had crept up quickly and I could no longer read my compass. No matter. Even when I had light, the glass had been so thickly encrusted with ice that I could not be see the face. Because we had chosen to stick tight to the eastern shore, an occasional black skeleton would appear through the mist. These black brush strokes on grey wash were the only assurance we were not forever lost in a blizzard.When we first launched out into Lake Columbia we were certainly not expecting to have an adventure. The lake is really more of a little practice pond. However it does have it’s hazards. In addition to the fog that can be amazingly disorienting at times, the ever changing water levels will leave you grounded upon a porous spongy bottom that will do all in it’s power to stop the motion of your boat.

Yesterday as we launched upon the water you could not see the power plant that sits 1.8 miles north of the landing. The security fences reached out to the right and left like metallic arms and disappeared into the abyss. Within just a few paddle strokes I realized we should be sticking to a shoreline. I set a compass bearing of 330 degrees which I knew would take us over to a berm at the center of the horseshoe lake. Even though we only needed to paddle about a quarter mile, I was continually correcting against the oddly strong current. A few inattentive moments would easily turn the boat back to zero forcing you to sweep back to your line.

In fog you cannot trust your senses. You have to just trust your compass. At one point my brain kept saying we were heading south. I knew that could not be right. I just stayed on course and told my brain to “shut up”. Interestingly on Lake Columbia you can often use the current to orient yourself as well. Knowing the general direction of the current will give you a good idea of where you are on the lake.

After a few minutes, ice laden bushes appeared out of the fog. We had reached the berm. From there we turned north and paddled on to the warmest waters nearest the Columbia Power plant. Near the power plant I noted an amber light which we could use as a marker. We paddled back across the lake to the shore below the lamp and traded boats. I just had to get out and roll the Greenlander.

Like everything I’ve read, the Greenlander is a fast and nimble boat. It actually surprised me a bit as it looks like a 50′s rocket ship and has little rocker. But contrary to my first impressions it responds quickly to a gentle nudge of the hip. Which by the way can be make a boat a real nightmare for new kayakers. Nimble ultra-responsive boats will also respond to your weaknesses. Something to think about.

I went out into the fog and laid the Greenlander over to find that “secondary” stopping point which I found was amazingly far over. Water was beginning to rise over the deck when she finally stopped on her edge. Wow. Yeah, I could hold this position without going over, but if a fly landed on my nose all bets would be off! Then I dropped over into a side scull which is effortless on the hard chine. I laid in the water and watched the darkening fog race over my head. My paddle was silent as it traveled like a hunting shark just below the surface in slow arcs. Then, I slowed my rhythm down further and let my body slide under the water. I hung upside down immersed in the 80 degree isolation. I felt my thighs rest against the inverted deck. The ocean cockpit hugged me tight. I let the paddle rest in one hand and reached out my arms to the bottom in a long deep stretch. How wonderful! How mystical! I reached out again with my paddle and brought my body back to the surface. Again the fog was sailing above me as water quickly froze to my face. Then slowly I slide my body onto the back deck of the Greenlander. In this boat there is no combing in you’re way. It’s an easy glide onto the deck. I sat up, and set up to do some rolls.

My first roll was quick. My head always seems to go back to the days when I couldn’t roll. I have to remind it that we CAN do it with a quick successful roll. After that I can slow it all down. Then I progressed through the rolls I know. At the last I was going to try a reverse-scull which if you don’t know, is a “forward recovery” roll. Meaning instead of recovering on your back deck, you slide across the front of your deck in sort of an abdominal “crunch”. So I leaned forward a bit and found that my pfd stopped by the combing. Yikes! The Greenlander has a high front combing and prevented me from leaning forward. Well, that was right out. I’m sure the experts could complete a forward roll on this boat, but I’m certainly not there yet. I can’t fathom how to get over the high front. So I eased over one more time and ended with a very slow offside angle roll before we traded boats again and prepared to head back to the landing.

By now the world was dark. Only the obscured orange glow of the single lamp gave us direction. We paddled back to the lamp light until we could see the shore line and then followed it south. Occasionally a tree or power line poll would appear, then fade away. We had to stay within less than 15 feet of shore to still make out any sort of definition. Within a few minutes even the orange lamplight had faded away behind us.

Suddenly the shore line turned east, something I sort of remembered from the past. My mind tried to re-draw the Google Earth image I held somewhere in my memory. From East the lake’s edge turned south, then west, the south again. All the while we were more often pushing off the bottom than actually paddling.

Now we were again paddling in the silence past Dr. Shivago treescapes. The snow was coming in heavily through the fog. You could not discern any definition between snow and fog, but could feel the snow melt on your face and watch as your deck turned white. Again the shore line took us through it’s crazy square dance; east, then south, then west, then south. Two miles begins to seem like a long distance in dead blind conditions. Your brain keeps questioning your location and decision making. Rationally you know you’re on some tiny lake with almost no chance of getting lost. Irrationally you ARE lost. You keep pushing down the crazy, insane version of your brain and paddle on.

After what seemed like hours, a fence erupted from the water’s edge and followed us south and within minutes we could see the concrete barriers on top of the hill floating in the fog like some mystical painting of Stonehenge. Our kayaks slid onto the shore. Their sharp noses dug into the snow like a pair of Viking marauders returning from the plunder.

In the blizzard of fog and snow we talked and laughed as we carried gear. Our hands were like clubs and our hair frozen. We slipped out of our dry gear and took off down the road. “Wow,” I said, “I wouldn’t have believed it, but someone could really get in trouble out there. With just a couple more feet separation you’d have never seen me.” I said. Mary asked, “Couldn’t you have turned on your ARC light?. . .” Doh!

* Top image: Screen Capture from “Blizzard”. Akira Kurosawa’s Dreams
* Lake Columbia image from Google Earth.