Global Warming Day
Published February 7, 2006 | 
I was just eating bread and water thinking nothing ever changes
and I was shocked
to see the mistakes of each generation
will just fade like a radio station
if you drive out of range
- Ani Difranco
February 7th, eh? Now that has to be THE date each year that is the absolute least important. Believe me, I’ve spent many sleepless nights thinking about it. Of course if this is your birthday you may have a completely different opinion and you are certainly excused from reading my little rant!!You see, February 1st is great because it means January is finally over. I love February 1st. January sucks, so February first is exactly one day past January, therefore a good day to my way of thinking! Then just the very next day is Groundhog day! Now you have to love that one. Somebody was actually able to convince an otherwise sane populace (did I say sane??) (did I say populace??) to put “Groundhog Day” on the calendar. Well, give Punxsutawney Phil his due, he’s sure a popular giant rat. This year he’s predicting 6 more weeks of winter. Thank’s Phil, . . you little Bastard!!
Now on February 6, the folks in New Zealand enjoy “Waitangi Day”. Well, the name makes it all worth while, don’t cha think? Yet on the other hand, Waitangi Day marks they day some people would say the Maori people gave away their independence to Great Britain. Or if you’re into a more “Why can’t we all just get along!??” version, then this is the day of “coming together in friendship” between the Maori and European settlers. Regardless though, Waitangi Day will always be on the calendars because you just can’t stop saying “Waitangi”.
February 11th is a holiday in Japan. National Foundation Day to be exact. February 11th marked the the enthronement of Japan’s first Emperor, Jinmu. Although this date in itself may be more folklore than “fact”. The holiday was then called “Kigen-setsu”. Until the end of WWII, there were all sorts of celebrations throughout Japan for Kigen-setsu, but after the war the holiday was ended for various reasons as you can imagine. Then in 1966 Kigen-setsu re-emerged with a new less than exciting name “National Foundation Day”. Thus this is the day I’ll sit around and watch either Rashomon or Ringu, depending on how I’m feeling. Maybe February 11th could be the international holiday to celebrate Japan!? Well, that’s my suggestion anyway.
February 12 is Abraham Lincoln’s birthday which is the beginning of the end of marking presidents birthdays as holidays. Just like “All Saints Day”, we had to lump them all up or no one would ever go to work again!
February 14th is Valentine’s day, which means that Wal-Marts and Stop-n-Gos all over the country will be selling tons of cheap, freezer burnt roses. Profit is a good thing after all. On the other hand It’s probably a bad sign if you need Wal-mart to remind you to think about your “partner”. My vote is that you buy roses for ANY day BUT Valentine’s day, just to show you actually DON’T need to be reminded by shop owners & retail corporations that your partner means something to you. If then, your “sig” does not appreciate THAT. . . it’s time to trade ‘em in!
So February 20th is lump day, or “President’s Day”. I think since Richard Nixon we’ve learned to look at presidents a bit more like CEOs than Emperors. Well, 49% of us anyway.
February 22 is George Washington’s birthday. This is the day we celebrate by slicing up a cherry pie in secret and then denying we sat in the kitchen all night and ate it. An alternative celebration would be to hand someone a piece of pie and when someone asks you if you baked it, . . lie about it!
Then of course the 28th is the actual Mardi Gras day. Which just goes to prove that as much as American’s want to deny it, we love the French. Or if you’re one of those anti-”French” fries extremists, you can love the Roman’s instead and celebrate the “Lupercalia”. Either way please send your risqué photos to. . . along with return address where the beads are to be sent. Just remember that at least by the end of of the day you should suffer some little “penitence” in honor of Shrove Tuesday. How ’bout I don’t send you the beads?? See then it all works out!
The other really cool thing about February of course is that every so often it has an extra day. Which to those born on leap year is the cause for a thousand age related jokes. However let’s be frank, even if you only have 4 birthdays, you’ll still look like your 112.
With all that going on this month, I’ve got to find something to do with the seventh. Maybe this will be the day each year I log onto NOAAs Climatology website and look at the February temperature chart above. Over the course of the last 100 or so years the annual mean temperature in Wisconsin has only increased by 1 degree Fahrenheit. BUT in FEBRUARY over that time, the mean temperature has increased by almost 6 degrees!!! So, I vote we make February 7th, “Global Warming” day. At least then I wouldn’t have to write some silly little pointless post like this one!
- d
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