In the United States one would have to hike to the top of Tikaboo Peak to get a good view of Groom Lake, about 90 miles north of Las Vagas. Of course to most of us this secret military base is known as the fabled “Area 51″. From Tikaboo it is rumored you can get a great view of the airfield, x-plane test flights and depending on who you ask, commandeered alien technology.

The Welsh equivalent is a tidal Race called Penryn Mayr where last weekend ultra-kayaker and “test pilot” Axel Schoevers was seen in control of previously before undescribed craft with no markings or legible identification. Early reports were of a quick, shockingly manuverable boat that seemed made for surfing and playing in the rough. We needed to know more. I hauled out the secret red phone from the locked bottom drawer of my desk. Within a day our investigators gathered from the four corners of the world and met in secret at a little place called
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch,
which in English means something like: “The church of St. Mary in a hollow of white hazel near a rapid whirlpool and near St. Tysilio’s church by the red cave” in Anglesey. Sure, go ahead and try to pronouce it. Welsh 101 anybody? So, this is where they hatched their evil plan; To capture Nigel Dennis and take him to their temporary headquarters (which they set up in a location code named “Paddlers Return”.) and pump him for information!! Or should that be “tap” him. . .

Well, I’m pleased to announce that the mission was a success. Nigel Dennis has since been returned to his home with no memory of the event in question. (plausable denial) Here “for your eyes only”, is the information we were able to get from him:

“The kayak has been designed for kayakers who are up to say 250lbs and want a day weekend kayak that is maneuverable and good in tidal races and surfing. So far I am happy that it fits paddlers of all sizes and performs well for all sizes!! The largest kayaker that we have had try the kayak so far has been 6ft 4inch tall. (The un-named kayak) has a flatter rocker line, flat mid section, boxy rails, 2″ longer than the Romany and a larger cockpit with a glass and rim one pc seat. It’s a kayak that I will have as a second to the Explorer.” – N. Dennis

Personally I think it’s pretty exciting when SeaKayaingUK (formerly NDK) comes out with a new boat. It happens so rarely. Now at this point no photographs are available, but we do know the new kayak goes into production in just a couple weeks. Now is the time to contact them for more information. Oh, and please let them know you actually read it here. Just so you can hear someone in with a british accent say “Where the hell is that??”

Now here’s the fun part. At this point no name has been selected for the new craft so we have an opportunity to offer some suggestions. Here’s mine: Romany “Genesis” – Something new built upon the Romany origins. Or as the beginning of new ideas. But you know me and words, I could just go on and on.

So go ahead and send your inquiries and name suggestions to Sea Kayaking UK. (orders@seakayakinguk.com) This may just be YOUR next kayak.

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Image: RW & Rob G paddling Romany HVs. .
Similar? We’ll see. .

* the report of how this information was gathered is quite possibly total tripe. . It could be that I just emailed and requested information, but how interesting would that be?? Thanks Nigel for the early report! Thanks to Simon O & Rob G for photos.