I don’t know if I’m wide awake or dreaming
But all I ever need is everything
Hey monkey, where you been?
-counting crows

I was up and about at 4am this morning. Another hot day is on tap for us. At least at 4 am you can catch an early morning rain before the heat and humidity begin to build.

So I couldn’t figure out what I felt like writing about today. I thought about writing about this weekend. I’ll be teaching a two day class at Rutabaga and will have some poor lad shadowing me. It reminds me of that old Steve Martin gag about teaching your children to talk wrong! After shadowing me he’s going to have to take his ACA certification all over again.

That got me thinking for some reason about those stupid back hatch latches (only dr. suess and derrick would put “back hatch latches” in a sentence. . ) on Current Designs Caribous. I fear those things. If you take a look at the latch you’ll see that all you need to do is a lay back and slide on to the deck from one direction and you risk getting your PFD shoulder strap hung up. Which I’ve had someone do. Of course when it happened last year I emailed CD about the issue right off. I’d tell you what they said, but . . I’m still waiting for my reply.

I thought I could write about Philip Clegg, Martin Rickard, & Peter Jones who are just kicking off their Greenland East Coast Kayak Expedition. Philip as you may know has been THE GUY at the “Kayak Company Formally Known AS NDK” ever since Simon went “paddling”. I could tell you all about their history and combined skills but then I realized that Hadas Feldman had it all covered when she posted back home to Terra Santa, “I spent yesterday with 3 sexy English guys”. What can I add to that? Other than I hope P,P, & M were posting back home that they got to spend their day with 1 ____ Israeli woman. (Fill in your own S word).

Then I thought about telling you how the day at the County Fair went. Hey we did feed elephants! But living in the historic summer quarters of the Ringling Bros. Circus all kids from Baraboo feed an elephant sooner or later. Oh, yes, that may be a political reference, or possibly commentary on American fascination with SUVs, or maybe a reference to the movie “Super Size Me“. Take it as you may.

Something told me that I should say something about Rowland’s upcoming paddling trip on the west coast of Scotland. But then I realized someone may read this and go steal his Rapier while he was away. (so I won’t mention it).

Or I could have told you about how Josh and the gang just got back from County Donegal, Ireland. But I’m hoping he’ll send me a picture first.

I thought about bragging up how Freya kicked butt in Greenland the other day, waiving the whole age thing and taking on the young women in the short distance race. Damn Straight! But knowing what a quiet and humble woman Freya is, (it’s ok, you can smile. . ) I thought I’d just not write about that either. Of course in Greenland, particpating is really more important than winning. . . but winning is ok too.

Then there is the on going story of how I am investigating if you can replace your NDK Explorer seat with the new 06 Valley Seats that bolt into the hull. This is in an effort to sooth those guys who email me to say their seat cracked, but they don’t want a foam seat. (Silly boys, foam is better!!) So far I’ve got one “I’d think so” and a “maybe”. JB is taking photos and getting measurements. (Not to be confused with “kicking A** and taking names” which is another gig entirely) My favorite response came from RW who mentioned “bodging & combat engineering”. That is too funny!!

There was a moment when I thought I’d just post a nice picture of Justine C. and say, “Hey, Go look at her blog!!”. Justine’s been on a wonderful trip AND been writing about it as well! I’m sure you’ll enjoy her adventures even if you are against eating those poor sweet Puffins! (oh, and by “sweet” I don’t mean in the “tasty” sense.)

Which got me thinking about that article about the Norwegian whalers shooting a whale right in front of a tour boat! Ouch! Bad PR boys! Lord knows I’m not a fan of commercial whaling, but I couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for their PR team. “Ok kids, spin this!”

It crossed my mind that I could write a bit about the next new cag I’m ordering from Reed or tell you how my search for a black expedition worthy PFD is going. But then I thought I should save my adventures in gear for another day. Way too many curves in that road!

I wondered if I dare write again about Rotem’s ongoing adventure in Iceland. I know I mention her a lot here, but WOW!!, (can I say that again!? WOW!!) soloing Iceland is just too amazing! If I had a “hero” wall with posters of all the amazing sea kayakers out there I admire, she’d certainly be on it!

But in the end I realized I couldn’t decide what to write about. So I thought, “forget it!”. I’ll just post a picture of Mary and Gryphon on the Bumper Cars and be done with it.

So there I am standing on the beach watching my oldest son, Julian, playing around in my Nigel Dennis Explorer while Mary and Gryphon mess about in the water just a few feet away. Out of the corner of my eye I notice a woman in a red bikini come walking up. “Lot’s of nice boats” she says. “Oh, thank you.” I reply, which leads into the long conversation about kayaking and paddling and the like. Apparently this woman was into the fitness aspect of the whole thing. (Fitness people often do take to tiny bikinis as I’ve noticed.) Of course it’s always a bit of a let down when you talk to people about using their torso and not their arms especially when they run, bike, etc., and figure kayaking will let them work on arm strengh. However in this case I’m not sure my new friend was too worried about that little set back. Without a pause she began to point out and demonstrate what muscles she was working on, being careful to tighten each line and run her fingers slowly to each bit along the way. “You see?” she’d say, and then slide her finger along an area that was in desperate need of a work out. Now being a little un-Wenley like I found myself spending a lot of time looking at my feet between demos, while at the same time trying not to be rude either. Heck at 41 it’s not everyday some strange woman walks up and want’s to show you her various muscle groups.

This conversation with all it’s intricacies and focus points went on for some time. Long enough in fact for Mary to paddle with Gryphon down the beach, take him to the bathroom, and paddle back again. Obviously It was getting time for me to work my way out of this one and I did. Eventually. . . With all the skill of a High-school freshmen I tried to be attentive and use sentances that would wrap up the conversation while I worked my way back over to my playboat. However it seemed each wrap up, would lead to a question, that in turn would lead to a demonstration of muscle groups. Slowly I did manage to get onto my boat and make some display of going back out to the water to do something. Julian paddled back in and he, I, Mary & Gryphon went back to playing our balance games. Julian had not tried much of this stuff and wondered if he could get back in the boat.

Suddenly there was a huge splash. I looked back, well we all looked back, to see my bikini clad friend lifting her body out of the water just a few feet away and then walking slowly back to the beach. Then again she took a run toward the water and dived into a handstand then cart wheeling and flipping through the water until it became too deep and she would come to a stop in a big explosion of waves. Up she would come, work her way back to the beach and there she’d go; Spin, Flip, Whooosh!! Then she’d go back, wring the water from her hair, and give it another go. You certainly had to admit she could get some good air!

A little later, Gryphon and Julian were playing a little ways away and I went back to the beach to grab some gear. Mary stayed out just a few feet to continue to work on her balance. She wanted to see if she could get up in the CD Breeze. She got on the back deck with her feet in the cockpit and suddenly realized our guest was standing right next to her boat, hands on hips, just watching. Not saying a word to Mary. Well, Mary reached for the combing and stood up for just a second before losing her balance and ending with a glorious crash next to the boat. Obviously, focus was elusive. The woman in the red bikini looked for a moment, then walked back to the beach, set up and launched off in one more acrobatic act before crashing into the lake. She slowly lifted her body out of the water and again walked back to the beach and up on to the boardwalk to head away. She took a quick glance toward me and said quietly “nice to meet you” to me as she went.

About then, Julian walked up beside me and said, “I think I want to get good at this kayaking thing”. .

kids. . .

These days we just paddle right out into the rough stuff. Wind and waves certainly qualify as “where angels fear to tread” in my book, but in time we get over it. We launch right out there. I still can’t quite nail down why we do it exactly. I’ve been told many times over the years that I’m a bit crazy and maybe that’s so. Funny, I don’t feel crazy. . .

Saturday the wind started building early in Rowley’s Bay and beyond. The night before they were predicting 2-4ft waves building to 4-6 on the outside, Winds 15-20 and gusting maybe to 25. Our morning classes went well under blue skies and a sharp breeze but as the day progressed conditions did deteriorate just a bit.

That afternoon I found I had a rolling class with no students. The sky was turning dark under heavy clouds and the bay was going black and lumpy. I knew this was a good opportunity to get my Acuta out and work on all those fancy little rolls in conditions that would test their practicality. An hour later sitting there dead center in the bay while black wind waves rolled over my deck, conditions were also testing my bravery. Not that the waves were all that big mind you, but the wind was incessant and all the world took on the feel of quickly done charcoal drawing. Facing out of the bay into the open water you feel pretty alone out there. Without the sunlight, the water seems to drop into eternity. The white caps contrast to make the waves seem much steeper than they actually are. So in conditions many non-kayakers (and some kayakers) would call crazy, (and the brits would call comfortably placid) I fell over into the water holding my black Beal paddle. . . just a bit more tightly. . . than usual.

Suddenly upside down in the bay, I remembered it how warm the water actually was. Under the surface it was cozy and calm, relaxing and peaceful. I couldn’t hear the wind. Sure I could feel my body being bounced around as the inverted Anas Acuta was slapped around by the waves above, but below the surface the thumping of the hull seemed miles away and quietly rhythmic. I hung here for a moment and enjoyed the solitude. Then as my body began to remind me of it’s need for air, I put my paddle out into a simple pawlatta and rolled back up.

Instantly I was greeted by a roaring wind that threatened to put me right back into the water! I quickly recovered back over my deck into a bracing position. The wind was lifting the water off my deck and tossing it back into my eyes that were just now trying to find focus. The sleeves of my jacket were snapping like playing cards in bicycle spokes. I wanted to go back under. I set up for an angel roll and dropped into the next on coming wave. This time I learned a lesson. It’s no easy task doing an angel roll against wind and waves. Way too finessey for conditions! I re-set and rolled up. Lesson one.

This went on for quite some time as I worked through the rolls I knew. Loud-quiet, din-death, on and on. I’d try each roll in series into the wind, then sideways with and against the wind & waves. I was getting quite tired. Before I called it a day though, I needed to try my hand rolls. I was practically knocked over in my twitchy white angel just trying to stow my paddle under the bungies! By now, I had been practicing too long too hesitate. As soon as my paddle was secure I dropped and rolled with the wave. Again, again, again. I knew I was smiling. It felt damn good to come back up! I laid back on my deck. At some point in the day I found that if I laid back, the wind would quickly spin my Actua almost all the way round to face the other direction! Then I worked on hand rolls against the waves. I found quickly it was all a matter of timing! Ocassionally I’d reach out and find only air!! I had to pull the paddle off the deck a couple times to recover before I got that one right!

Exhausted I paddled back to shore. I felt pretty good. I was able to get out and do all my calm day, warm, pool water rolling in a bit of conditions. I hadn’t even thought really about the conditions other than in a technical sense for over an hour. So maybe that initial fear was finally gone. I tossed my paddle in the cockpit and took a quick look back out over the bay. I thought to myself, “You were out rolling in that? You’re crazy!!”

- bye sid

I launched my Acuta from the demo beach. A big bit of un-natural green indoor outdoor carpet protected our hulls on the rocky launch. Of course on the way down I gave the guys from GRO a chance to see my angel and talk to them about the Nordkapp that Wenley had ordered. Oh, and to remind them not to be taking any more orders for replicas of mine. ) Then I went down to the water and launched behind the little break wall. This was the only spot in the bay that was deep enough to roll in while being out of the wind and waves that were quickly tearing up the bay. After a few calm water rolls my plan was to head out into the full on conditions to test how my traditional rolls worked in something other than a placid lake. But that’s another story. For the moment let’s stay behind the wall.

You have to tuck up tight to the rusty steel & concrete barrier and right ahead of a single small boat moored there. In that spot the water is fairly deep, but if you start sliding a bit north you’ll catch the rocks that form the shallow landing. In the end my Acuta has some nice new scratches from those pointy bits of limestone. So there I was rolling away pleasantly when all of a sudden in the midst of a shotgun, my head hit a rock! I quickly rolled up. It only took a moment to realize it was just a minor scratch, but then my eyes caught the reason for my suffering. Alex was paddling in with his group right behind me! You see, Alex Pak’s evil presence is growing strong enough now he does not even need to touch you!!

Simon Osborne found out all about Alex’s evil tendencies when he came over to the Midwest in May. We were then attending the West Michigan Kayak Symposium. This was the first for Alex as an instructor. It was then when Alex broke Simon’s beloved Lendals! Snapped the shaft right off trying to do an under the hull skull!! To think those trusty Lendal paddles had made it around Ireland and Britain only to die at the hands of Alex Pak. Now, let me mention here that Simon was at least mollified by the fact that they WERE Lendals, since he could just replace the one bit of the shaft that broke and not the rest of the paddle. You wouldn’t want to let Alex around your 2 piece system! Simon also got some satisfaction in that he CAN do an under the hull sculling roll with a Euro AND in Alex’s boat as well! Isn’t there a phrase somewhere about never rolling another man’s kayak?? Let alone something they can’t do. So how’s that one working for you Alex?? )

So now we move forward to Door County where Alex again is the new “cowboy” on the block. (As Alex mentioned we are now turning sea kayaking symposiums into a costume party as well. I apparenly am dressing like a pirate these days) Of course everyone who knows Alex knows he just wants to teach rolling. But our glorious leader had other plans. “You must learn to walk before you can run. . grasshopper.” So Alex got to teach all sorts of fun things. All the basic stuff we all know so well. Paddlefloats, forward strokes, bow rescues and the like. How can you possibly get hurt doing these sorts of things is a safe, professionally instructed atmosphere? Well, be another instructor and work with Alex of course!!

Now I’m sure he could share some details that I don’t have, but Kristin G. (the poor woman in the picture above) was working on a roll. Alex was kindly there ready to offer a bow if she needed one. Well, she was heading over to set up for a second roll as her first was a bit sloppy. It was at that point that our over zealous cowboy in shining armor came in for a suprise save. Next thing you know there’s Kristen walking up the road with a giant goose egg on her forehead just about the same size as the bow of a Nigel Foster Kayak. Another victim of “Alex the Impaler”.

Oh, but don’t let this little story sway your opinions of Alex. He’s a great young instructor. You’ll be lucky to have him teaching you. You’d be even luckier if you survive! )

** For those of you who don’t know Alex, we just tease him because he’s so damn good at everything! (a little dangerous maybe . . .)

————————————–
Kickin’

Congrats To Freya!!! She finished 6th overall in the 80k marathon in Greenland. One of just two women to complete the course. Alison Sigethy was close behind. Congradualtions to Alison as well.

btw, having Freya’s Kayak Trolley at Door County was a real life saver!

————————————–
Kodachrome

I’ve posted our Photo Gallery from the Door County Symposium Here (top gallery)

- d

As I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a horse outside the door where my old horse should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse should be?
- traditonal

You wake up in the morning feeling oddly out of sorts. You’re stomach feels as if it’s holding a large stone. You can’t turn your gaze quickly. You know you’d had quite a large volume of liquid refreshment the night before but other than that you can’t really pull thoughts together. You get back into the clothing you wore the night before and drag your corpse out into the bright sun. And then it starts; Lots of people are smiling at you. They ask things like, “How are you feeling this morning?” or say, ” I heard you had quite a night”. Ok, now the dread sets in! What the heck did I do? You know that bit right?

Well, after playing comic relief to JB’s Sunday morning navigation class (sorry JB. .), and about 4 gallons of water. Large sections of the night before started returning to focus.

So at some point Saturday evening I joined JB and Dick up in their room for a night cap. We needed to taste test my Jameson right up against JB’s Bushnell. I mean, if you have two bottles of whiskey, you HAVE to taste test, right? Test and repeat. So we were off to the races. Soon in the warm glow of a whiskey haze, Dick told stories while JB & I snickered and grinned through half open eyes. I remember a joke in there somewhere about a doctor teaching students to taste test urine samples. Dick is an encyclopedia of doctor Jokes! Ah, but it was getting late. I had to get up in the morning. It was time for me to head back to my room.

While wandering through the hotel feeling like a wobbly, alien, gelatin creature, I saw a door. I realized I was feeling like there was no air inside these oddly dark, florescent bulb lit halls. So I went outside. As I opened the door and the air rushed in, I could hear all sorts of commotion down by the big bonfire. This could only mean one thing. . . The REPS were still up!! One thing you learn quickly at symposiums is that it’s the REPs who keep the late night parties going. If you want to find fun entertainment at 2 am you just go looking for those guys! Soon I was walking into the circle and with a bit of a well meaning but hodgepodge story I pulled out the rest of the Jameson from a plastic Reed Chillcheater bag and passed it around. I remember conversations about the BCU with Kelly Blades, Telling Mark, an instructor from Cleveland what a really good instructor I thought he was. (and I do. . even sober. , I cornered Jeff from Rutabaga and tried again to get him to give me the chance to work with him on his roll. You know, we’re supposed to get a free dinner out of it, but really I just want to see him do it. He can keep the “Spam-n-Eggs”. On and on went the night until at some point in the evening Mark and I were picking up garbage and putting out the fire. Then I was doing my best Peter O’Tool swagger back off to my room. Which was locked. And for which I did not have a key. Of course when you’re 3 sheets to the wind, you’re happy to go sleep under a tree and I may have done just that if it hadn’t been for the fact that Mary had come looking for me and caught my sad, sorry self in a hallway. Which it seems leads me right back to the the smiling faces asking me, “So how are you feeling today?”

Well, the fact that everyone asking the questions was smiling or laughing is a good thing. Back in my younger days whiskey would leave me with mornings where I was in fear of what I had done the night before, or where I was waking up for that matter! Times change. Yet, even today I still feel that fear a bit. I don’t think I’m in a hurry to drink unlimited quantities of whiskey again any time soon. But the smiles and teasing were somehow comforting. It reminded me that sure I can still get a bit wild sometimes, but I’m also not the royal jack*ss I used to be.

- over the next few days I’ll have some interesting stories & lots of pictures from Door County. Including a story of why we now call Alex Pak, “Alex the Impaler”. This story will leave Simon feeling lucky Alex only broke his paddle!

I am outta here! So this is the post you get while we take the 5 hour drive to Door County. Where’s that? Well, get out your map and find the Great Lakes sort of in the middle of the North American continent. Then find Wisconsin. Wisconsin is the one with Lake Superior to the north and Lake Michigan to the East. Got it? Now you just need to find that long peninsula sticking out on the eastern side of the state about half way up. This peninsula is “Door County”. We’ll be about 2/3rds of the way up on the south east side of that finger. Ok, you can put you’re map away now. Can you believe the symposium gods put me as a lead in a navigation class!?? I just hope the come searching for us when we don’t return from the on water bit. Actually I’m lucky that I can let JB take the lead and I can just shake my head and agree a lot. This time around Mary and I are taking the easy way out this time and staying at the resort on the symposium grounds. Indoor pool, sauna. . . .So Posh!! Maybe that will give me a change to post from the party!

So while I’m driving down endless highways and little country lanes all day Thursday, you can check out Rowland W’s pictures of HIS version of the stirrup. (Thanks MR. W) As you can guess, I am also going to put one of these together. I’ve got my floating line & bit of hose stuffed in the back of the Jeep. Like we always say, try different methods and see what works for you.

Rowland commented on our last discussion of the stirrup and sent along these pictures to better clarify what he was describing. I’m sure he won’t mind if I share. Just check out the comments of that last post for more details and I’ll check in again when we get settled in Rowley’s Bay.

* photos by rowland woolven. (thanks)