Crisis

I think if you asked almost anyone in my world, they would say I must be having a midlife crisis. Got to be. Why else would someone just randomly pick up some strange sport 4 years ago, then suddenly be doing such oddly unsafe things? They’d suggest that a kayak is just a red porche for the less well endowed. I’d believe them too, except by their standards I’ve probably been going through some mid-life crisis since I was 5. When I went into theatre, got married, got divorced, played in a band, painted, wrote, got married again, quit a job, started a business, bought a kayak, . . . Someone was always there to say; ” He’s going off the deep end this time!”. Someone was always there to suggest I needed salvation. (and most likely counseling . . ) Often if you’re not going where others are going, or where others feel you should be going. . . they can only assume you are in crisis. There must be something wrong with you. Write this down in your book of wisdom: “Everyone you bring home to mother is a proof of your madness.” It can only get better from there! You can quote me on that. .

Hearsay and dime-store psychologists would suggest that a midlife crisis, (if there is such a thing) is brought on by a realization of time, age and death. If that’s so, your “midlife” begins the day you lift your head from your feet. When the trudge becomes a march. If you seek some understanding, sensuality and joy in this life, if you’re willing to try new things and dive into them with guns blazing, YOU my sad little friend, must be having a crisis! Over time I’ve learned something; If your more stable friends’ noses start to wrinkle up when you tell them your plans. If their left eyelash shows signs of an involuntary twitch. . . You are probobly on the right track. . . Go for it!

Glory Days

This week I keep seeing all the “old” faces from school days. Odd how all the old faces, bullyboys & prats every one of them, still seem to seek recognition over time. Like age and familiarity trumps a mean spirited or violent past. To feign some comradeship with these guys & dolls I’d have to be suffering some form of Stockholm syndrome. I’m not especially vengeful, I’m happy they’re eating well these days, but I’m not sure why I would wave back either. “Yeah, soooo nice to see you again,” I’d say, “thank for all the wonderful years of terror and abuse! Wanna do lunch sometime and talk about glory days??!” Not Bloody Likely! Let no one say however that Karma isn’t sweet. Eventually as Bono says, your face catches up to your psychology.

Crazy Stupid, Silly Maybe, But Not Crazy, Crazy.

Friday I’m going to do something crazy. I can’t help myself. Maybe I’ll get a fine. Or maybe some old guy in green coveralls will yell at me. Maybe someone will say I’m having a mid-life crisis! But I think I’ll be the first. You see, each time we drive up to Two Rivers we travel through a little town. From the road, as you cross a bridge you see a pretty little water feature where a small river runs though a park. I doubt when their city fathers came up with this little feature they ever contemplated a kayaker. . . Yet, each time we drive by it tasks me. Like Ahab, I must have it. So in a new twist to “commando kayaking” we’re leaving early Friday so we can go to this little town. I will take a few moments to scout out a clean exit and survival technique. Then I will place my ww kayak upon the river, snap my helmet, then hopefully before anyone of authority takes notice, I will run their little water feature. If all goes well, we will then quietly and quickly load the kayak and take off down the road without incident. So you’re asking; Is it a dangerous feature? Well, I don’t think so. Certainly safer than the Wolf River! Is it tall or fast? I wouldn’t call it either. Is it illegal? Heck if I know! Then why? Well, sometimes even in small things there has to be a first time. Just a thread of adventure to know you’re alive.

Because I feel like laughing
Oh I feel like laughing
All because of you
- goo goo dolls

Why is this woman laughing? Well, I’m not sure, but the picture in itself seemed a good enough reason for a post. Could be that she’s been practicing saying silly words like “canoecopia” just in case she needs to use them in a sentence in the future. . . And while she’s working on words like that, she should probably start thumbing through the North Face catalog as well. . . ah, and maybe shop for a Lendal Paddle that will easily chip through thick sodium free ice . . . but that’s a story for another day. . .

For those of you new to the sport, this smiling face is none other than Justine Curgenven creator of the “This is the Sea” DVD series and certainly one of the master Jedi Mistresses we’ve heard so much about. I could rant on, but of course I’m a little biased. . (a little strange, a little over the rainbow . . . ) Still, with Justine in mind it’s a good time to tell you about a new bit that’s been added to her website’s “News & Features” section where we are going to keep a list of all current or on going expeditions. Sure, I often try to mention them here, but they usually only get a day in the sun, whereas this will be an opportunity to quickly find out who’s doing what without waiting for me. I hope everyone (yes, that means YOU!!) will help us keep that section up to date. And of course when new expeditions are completed such as Tom’s Lake Michigan trip or Misha & Alon’s Ireland circumnavigation, we add them to Justine’s ever growing Expedition Database. A pretty good resource if I do say so myself!!

Well, I’d better get going and work on that Gel-Coat article some more. Lord knows I don’t want to get stuck staring at pictures all day. . . . well, maybe just another minute. . .

There should be a poem with that title, “Your Monday Bits”. Probably something slightly naughty. And couldn’t we all use something just slightly naughty? . . . well. . .moving on then . . .

Two major trips have just come to an end. First Misha Hoichman & Alon Ohad have just completed their circumnavigation of Ireland. In the end that trip covered about 830 miles over 36 days. They were also joined by Gadi Goldfarb on the SE-S-SW coasts and Inna Hoichman on the West & North West Coasts. For More Information Read On. . Of course Congratulations everyone!!

The second was a bit closer to home where Chicago resident Tom Heineman successfully completed his circumnavigation of Lake Michigan. He covered about 850 miles. Again you can read more here. I should congratulate Tom as well. Thing is, I just figured completing the trip was a foregone conclusion.

Well I have a busy work week ahead of me. YUK!! But “Kayak Weekend” is coming up in Two Rivers this weekend so we’re out of here on Friday. Be sure to check out Saturday’s post if you haven’t already about my first white water experience, or “Derrick Goes Swimming”. Yikes!! I’ll really, really try to get that post about gel-coat repair up this week. Really. And who knows where else we may go. I really hadn’t thought about it. Funny thing about life. It just keeps going right by whether you think about it or not.

I swam! But what’s worse I swam twice. . in a row, in the same hole! So how’s that work?

We made it up to Bear Paw and were on the Wolf River around 10 in the morning. Although it was a bright, warm, sunny day, the fact that I hit a bird on the way up and forgot my neo should have told me Karma was not quite on my side! Oh well, ignorance is bliss. Besides with plastic you can always just “pick up” a new pair of hydroskins. One of the ills of our modern world. $90? here’s a card! Ugggh!

Of course Alex & Keith were being good instructors. Alex spends a lot of time in white water and Keith is surfer with a little bit of a crazy streak. Both were at home in the foam. I on the other hand couldn’t help but be a bit skittish. We spent some time working on eddy turns, ferry glides, peel-outs and all the little bits I needed to know. And the thing that screwed me up. . . Edging!! On paper it’s simple; the water goes over an object (say a big rock) drops back into the water creating backflow. The back flow is the wave. Being a mighty sea kayaker I understand the wave and edging INTO the wave. However, in a big white noisy river your brain tells you to edge into the current. Into the flow, thus into the wave. But that’s not right. The wave like I mentioned is the back flow. It’s behind you. Which ends up with you lifting the side of the boat facing the flow of the river which as I said is completely against everything I’ve learned. Then there’s this bit. When the boat starts to spin out, your direction on the waves change. So does your edge. You have to quickly react with your presentation from one side to the other as you move around in the flows.

Now it seemed all was going pretty well. As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve NEVER been rolled by accident. Never. I’ve dumped in surf for fun but never had the surf or big seas dump me. And I do push things now and again. Yet, I’ve always managed to stay up. So the wolf made sure to get that monkey off my back right away. I went over fairly quickly working on a peal out or some such thing. The first roll attempt was trash, but the second was clean. Another lesson of the day. Once the boat is over, give it a couple seconds to match the speed of the flow. Then you can roll up easily. Within a few minutes I was over and up again. So although I was feeling a little apprehensive with this bolder strewn river, at least I felt good about rolling in it.

So we carried out boats back up river, put on our skirts, I know, I double checked, then slid back out into the hole. In retrospect I probably should have taken a few more minutes to get back into the “here and now”. My next dive into the hole was fast and furious. I quickly presented the wrong edge and went over. Opening my eyes as I set up my roll I saw the rock when I hit and it knocked one hand off the paddle. I was able to get a bit of a grip on the rock and lifted myself enough to get air, but could not hipsnap as the pressure was pushing me into the rock. I went back under and tried to turn the paddle back so I could get it with the other hand, but again the current was not going to let me do that and there was a big rock in the way. I was quickly needing air. Really needing air. I swam! This time I lost the paddle which Alex grabbed and we again slid back into the eddy about 25 yards down river. Even I knew I deserved some punishment for that one. Had I pushed off the rock I would have been carried past it, then I could have probably angel or hand rolled it up with the paddle in one hand. At least that was an option. But the rock and the generally uniqueness of situation didn’t let me see that. My fault. I deserved the boot.

Off to go white water paddling today on the Wolf River with Keith Wikle of Michigan and Alex “the Impaler” Pak. White Water is something I’ve never tried before. Big surf is one thing, big nasty rocks is another. Nervous? Me? I keep hearing this voice say “Not the face, Not the face!!” . . . Oh well, I’ll just keep singing that song. .

See ya Later!

(I hope)