I can hand roll my Explorer. I can hand roll my Anas Acuta. I can hand roll my Pyranha. I can hand roll my Romany. . . finally! As you go through the learning process in sea kayaking it’s important not to let frustration become a reason to quit. In fact, in my experience failure and frustration are driving forces. In a strange masochistic way they feel great. My disdain for personal failure pushes me forward. Well, never worked with women though. All I ever needed was to not get a phone call in a couple days and I’d just assume I must have did something wrong! I wonder how many relationships never got started just because we both sat in our own little worlds wondering why the other didn’t call?? Like most of us in some places I’m a raging example of self-esteem, but in others I’m a vampire for reassurance. A but as Silbs says, “I digress. . .”

One way to keep that “failure to victory” thing going is to take something you’re good at and bring it into a new atmosphere. Like running scales on your electric guitar with low gauge strings, then moving to a 12 string acoustic. It’s like starting over. In kayaking, moving from boat to boat will keep you learning. I learn most rolls in my white water boat first. Well, I did until I started playing with forward recovery rolls. It seems whenever I try a reverse sweep roll in the Pyranha. The boat spins around and my body ends up in a line with the boat. From there you’re screwed. So recently I don’t bother with pool sessions much unless I can get in there with my long boats. I first learned to hand roll with my white water boat. From there hand rolling the Anas Acuta was pretty simple. When I moved that over to my Explorer I was a total failure again. At first I would scooch my body forward in the cockpit. Then I could again lay back and the hand roll came back. Slowly I worked my way back onto the seat. Now I’ve found the same issue all over with the Romany. I could scooch forward and hand roll it, but not from a normal seated position. Even my stick rolls needed to start with some momentum. I couldn’t just hang upside down for a bit, then stick roll up. What I realized was that the back of the Romany (at least compared to the seat in there) was higher. I could not easily get my back arched enough to lay my back on the deck. Thus the roll was failing. This week I spent much more time in the Romany. Finally my hand rolls are starting to come back from a normal seated position. Hmmm. One thing though, my back is a bit sore.

Another example of this is with a hanging draw. I wrestled with that forever in my Explorer. It seemed like on any given day the “sweet spot” (as they say with no naughty connotations I’m sure), kept changing. I swear it was different every day. So I learned to slide into a hanging draw from a forward stroke. This gives you time to make a micro adjustment before the assessor can bust you! In the Romany however, the spot is always the same. I can just plop my Lendal out there near my hip and the little thing slides right over with perfect form. Go figure!

You see, you can acknowledge failure. You can have good days and bad, onside and offside. As long as you know that failure is your personal coach and instructor. Failure shows you each flaw in your form and encourages you to give it another go until you get it right. In many ways our failure makes us who we are. As long as we listen to what the coach is saying and learn from it.

Yeah, some days in some things, I can be pretty tough, pretty fixated and unbearably self-righteous & unbreakably committed. In other things, especially when it comes to people and relationships I have the insecurities of a child. My hand has been held to the stove more than most. So often I end up waiting for others to make the first move and state clearly their intentions. I end up doing an impersonation of a Sally Field Oscar speech! One of my many failures. But then, failure is a good teacher. . . If you listen.