At first I thought my new little tent was a lonely place to be. Any time I pack up the little MSR I know I’m going to be on my own. The say it sleeps 2, but I’m sure they mean 2 Brazilian super models. (Or at least two people in a position that’s good for some things, but not necessary sleeping.) In fact I bought the MSR looking for something small I could pack in around my skegbox and set up easily and quickly after my kayak slipped up onto a sandy beach. It’s usually about the time you’re setting up your tent that you find you don’t have the energy to stand properly.

The first couple times in the tent it felt like sleeping in a budget motel outside of a truck diner. I’d lay there most of the night tossing and turning and getting very little sleep. I’m sure it’s got something to do with some past flash backs. Years ago when I used to work for a marketing company out of Sarasota FL. I would drive up and down the east coast doing advance work for stage shows. It meant many nights spent alone in strange hotels. I’d never sleep. So then I started making habits of finding some local bar and the end of the day and take in a bit of liquid sedative with the hopes that it would distract me from that bit of yellow light that always seems to find it’s way through motel curtain windows. It hardly ever worked. I’d just lay there all night feeling exhausted and buzzed up. Or my experiences of the evening would leaving me musing away on some very strange subjects.

One night I was just outside of New York in some bar with a great band blasting away on stage. A guy came up and sat down at my table and opened up a conversation. We talked about New York, the east coast, life in Wisconsin or whatever came up. We were quite a few drinks into the night and I was enjoying the company. Then out of the blue, he just looked at me point blank and said, ” I don’t want to offend you. . . but I’d love to give you a bl*w j*b.” Tell me you’d expect that statement to just come across a table at you!?? After I got through that momentary shock I stuttered, “Well, thanks for the offer but I’m straight.” He was obviously now as uncomfortable as I was. I said, “No, I’m not offended. . just not into it”. I sort of smiled and looked down at the table. We laughed a bit and soon were again talking about life. In the end it was a good evening. Good conversation. But for a kid from Wisconsin, the nights conversation left me quite unable to sleep.

There was another night somewhere in upstate NY, when after many nights without sleep I was working in my office around 11pm and I put my head down on the desk and drifted off. I hadn’t slept long when there was a noise. I jolted up to find the barrel of a revolver about 6 inches from my nose. Time froze as you’d guess. Slowly I was able to widen my vision to see it was being held by a police officer who apparently thought I was an intruder. A sleeping intruder?? Well, after looking at my ID he left. Always wondered what they hell that one was about.

I also spent a couple of December nights dead broke and sleeping in a car but that’s a whole other story. . .

Slowly I’ve grown used to sleeping alone in my little tent. I’ve found a place for my stuff and these days it’s like bringing your home with you wherever you go. Usually I have clothing all over the place and it makes for a nice little cocoon. I think what changed my feeling was spending a night in my tent with 104 fever. From then on it just felt more like a “safe” place. I look forward to traveling around this summer and living in my little home away from home. I find I enjoy having my own little sanctuary, a place to go when I don’t feel like being social. A little isolation is a good thing. Other times though, I still think I’d rather have company. . . preferably female. . .