adrift
Published February 11, 2007 | 
I walked into the gas station to grab a soda. It was 7am and the winter sun was just slipping down the streets of the little town. The man behind the counter smiled, “Gonna be a great day!”. Yep. It was. I was devastated. I was an EMT and I had just left a suicide. When the crew left to take the person from the home, it was decided I’d hang around a bit until more family arrived. A young woman just sat on the steps in her pajamas. I sat beside her as an officer moved around in silence in the bathroom around the corner. We never spoke. The rustling of my bulky EMS jacket seemed like an invasion. I tried to sit as still as I could. Slowly the sky out the window began to light a strangers living room. Christmas lights twinkled. A car arrived. Without a word we exchanged our watch. Sister? Cousin? Aunt? Didn’t matter. She now had family. A few days would pass and the questions would begin, but in this cold December morning there was nothing to say.
I woke up this morning. I could not resist browsing the news. I dare say like you, I was hoping for answers. Instead I found a picture of Vicki sitting alone beside Andrew’s boat that had been loaded on to a trailer. Something like many of us, I did not want to see. In the flurry and madness of it all, you reach out for your partner. You steal a moment, you gather your strength. Then you straighten your back and go back in there to fight another day.
Monday is coming in New Zealand. The world is oblivious. The work week has arrived. The ritual rush is on. Someone, a clerk, a passer by, will ask cheerfully “How ya do’in today?” You’ll look at them briefly, the last 48 hours will flash through your mind. You’ll look to the ground and say, “Fine.”
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6 Responses to adrift
So sad…so true.
I have tears this morning. It really makes one see how connected this small world of paddlers is. I never new Andrew but I know what he loves…Thank you Derrick for pulling this paddling community closer together.
I am just checking in after a busy weekend away from it all. I have read your updates from bottom to top now. jeez, what can I possibly say. Such an overwhelming situation. There is no way that any paddler, or adventurer, or human being can not react with a profound sadness for the family, the paddler, the community. it impacts us all, makes us consider our own mortality…too many thoughts running through my head at once…thanks for the posts, Derick. I will check back later-kqp
following the news all weekend
my thoughts running wile at work
nothing to say but
thanks, thanks for keeping us updated all the time
Ben
Holland, Europe
As a novice I look on to this person of unimaginable talent and courage to see a great loss to a small community of Kayakers. Any one person who had the will to push themselves to the length of a 1600 Km jouney Deserves the heros welcome to all of our hearts. Looking to make some sense of the news i can at least think this; If I or anyone else were to leave this existance doing what they loved then for them i will be happy. It is for the family where my simpathies and hope will reside.
followed your updates all week … still trying to come to terms in my head … is there a transcript of the garbled distress message ? Just doesn’t makes sense how he was parted from his kayak.
Either way, he was and always will be an inspiration …