I got off on a diatribe. Of course you’ll never see it. Delete buttons are great that way. You can just blather on about whatever comes to mind then hit, “Delete”. I thought since it was Valentines day I might make a stab at the heart. . . well, love anyway but I found I’m way too strange to tackle that subject. When I think about Valentines day I start wondering weird things like how many kids will get suspended for handing out Valentines Cards. In our world I think those tacky sayings would probobly constitute some form of assault, well, harassment at the very least! If I could make a Valentines card. It would have a nice white frilly white lace front with no words. On the inside in nice silver script it would say, “Nice Bum!”.

Valentines day could also be seen as religious. That could cause problems as well. I wonder, can government employees send other government employees valentines cards or would that be a violation of the separation of church and state? I know what you’re saying, “Valentines day is not a religious holiday”. Well there is this:

“There are varying opinions as to the origin of Valentine’s Day. Some experts state that it originated from St. Valentine, a Roman who was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. He died on February 14, 269 A.D., the same day that had been devoted to love lotteries. Legend also says that St. Valentine left a farewell note for the jailer’s daughter, who had become his friend, and signed it “From Your Valentine”. Other aspects of the story say that Saint Valentine served as a priest at the temple during the reign of Emperor Claudius. Claudius then had Valentine jailed for defying him. In 496 A.D. Pope Gelasius set aside February 14 to honour St. Valentine.”

On the other hand like most holidays we have here in the western world it all comes back to Rome;

Valentine’s Day started in the time of the Roman Empire. In ancient Rome, February 14th was a holiday to honour Juno. Juno was the Queen of the Roman Gods and Goddesses. The Romans also knew her as the Goddess of women and marriage. The following day, February 15th, began the Feast of Lupercalia.”

And then I got thinking about Valentines day gifts. Sure some people like flowers. Others would be bloody offended. Oh, and what about those red teddybears?? You know there are about 10,000 of those poor bears in bins at the second hand stores this time of year. All with dates like “1983″ on their bellies! You can buy a woman lacy underwear and take your chances. You might spend the evening in bliss, or just as possible you may spend it alone. Woman could just as easily buy guys some of those leather Speedo type things. . Thing is would she really want to see a guy in leather Speedos!?!? I think NOT! Well not in my world anyway. Thing is giving your partner, friend, companion sexy gear is really all about you anyway. “Happy Valentine’s Day Dear. I love me. Would you put these on and show me how much you love me as well!?. Well, at least she gets a card!! Yikes!

I don’t know about you but I’ve decided that chocolate is the only safe gift left. But then chocolate has that funky chemical, Anandamide in it. Back to jail you go. Thought you were giving her chocolate but actually you were being introduced to the long tawdry history of “Micky Finn“.

So happy Valentines day. Be careful out there!!