A response
May 27th, 2007 | 
Author: Ok guys. I know. I’ve received multiple emails from around the country, well, the world actually, telling me “Derrick, I know that this is not true.” To each person that has emailed me, I have responded personally. I have also explained why I just feel it is not right to get into a public argument. I’m deeply hurt and disappointed with what has been said. Especially given the time I have put into working to help Wendy promote her paddling career long before I knew her personally. Frankly I’ve never been attacked like this before, by anyone. Those who know me, know I am not a spiteful, mean or dishonest person. I’ve been just shocked by this.Yes, there certainly are more “facts” than are being told. But what would you have me do? Jump in the mud too? You all have read my writings for some time now and know that I am not a mean spirited person. It’s degrading. Of course being attacked is degrading too, but the thought of responding in kind makes me queasy. I can’t do it.
When I planned this trip, I had no idea who I would do it with. Remember I wrote about this. I did not know Wendy well, but she was dead keen on doing the trip. So I said, “sure”. And that was it. Of course it was my trip, my adventure. My first adventure in fact. Wendy really just stayed out of the way and let me work. Which is what I wanted to do. Of course from there we had to learn to know each other. We certainly have had the time to do this. Yes, I had my own concerns. Yet, I always sort of put them away. I felt none of the concerns I had were detrimental to the trip. But of course that was probobly a mistake. My fault.
The hard part of course is responding to her public attack and yet not hitting back. I can’t find a way. All I can say is this. Certainly we had conversations, by email. In fact they have continued right up to today. There was no justifiable reason to go on a public attack. Yet she did. Which I don’t think has ever before been done in the paddling community. It’s a big black eye for the sport in my mind. Suffice to say, even IF, she had misunderstood something she still could have spoke with me in private. The funny thing, if there is one, is that this whole thing started because she was upset with us for not reading her blog for a couple days and missing her news. I had to go back and figure out what she was attacking me for. It was this actually that led to the decision to take her off the team.
Put yourself in my place guys. What would you do? Lash out? Dish dirt? I am deeply hurt by her attacks. I am deeply hurt that she decided to use blogging as a forum to attack my character. I did my best to not say anything bad about her. All I can do is stand on my name, my reputation and the caring of my friends.
Thank you to my close friends, my CTA team, and to the many people from Puerto Rico who have all emailed or called with their support. You’ve really helped me to stay open minded and stay excited about the trip and meeting all of you. It will be wonderful.
I’m sorry you had to witness this. It was certainly not necessary. Of course it’s up to Wendy to decide how long or how degrading she wants to make this. If she wanted to hurt me, she has done that.
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Hi Derrick, I can feel for you. On a trip, I had a fall out with a paddling partner, who ended up quitting the trip and going home just after the argument.
Since then he has written many entries on his website attempting to rip apart my paddling philosophy and articles that I’ve written. He’s lied and distorted when talking to our mutual friends. And recently, he’s posted an unbelievably long post – pages and pages – directly attacking me and, in addition, using passages from my private email and the one email my girlfriend ever wrote to him out of context to try and make me look like an ass. And that’s just the half of it. I almost don’t want to mention the threats of lawsuits and other silly accusations that he’s made about me and when a mutual friend posted a comment on his site questioning his representation, he got even more silly and accused the poster of being me hiding behind a false name. Anyway, I’ll quit now. This was for a trip that lasted, for me, 14 days and took place around 4 years ago.
And until now, I’ve never even hinted at his bizarre behavior in public. So, I’m not sure that you can claim it hasn’t happened before in the paddling community – if I’m part of that community, the same has happened and continues to happen to me. There are mounds of horror ex-partner stories all around. I remember reading a nasty and a very public partner-bash by Larry Rice in Canoe and Kayak Magazine a couple of years ago.
Anyway, I think people often lash out publicly like this instead of allowing the realization of how wrong they are to enter their mind.
I’m sure it hurts you now as those attacks against me hurt at the time, but I know who I am, my friends know it, and my business partners know it. You can expect the same from the people you know. And that’s all that really matters in the long run. Now, everytime that guy lashes out at me I just get a chuckle about it.
Once when I was hitching a ride, after a long wait, a man dressed in yellow on a yellow motorcycle pulled up to me. He lifted up his bug eyed goggles, looked into my eyes and said, “Don’t sweat the small $h!t, eventually you’ll get a ride.”
Don’t let this get you down; this is just some of that small $h!t. You’re going to get to paddle around Puerto Rico! And you still have the most entertaining blog about paddling on the Internet. Keep up the good stuff.
What Bryan said. We can only make decisions about the way we act and cannot change others. Whether they come from a place of fear and/or anger is all about their stuff. Sad as they may be, they deserve our sympathy for they are unlikely happy in their own skins. Paddle on.
Derrick you are doing and have done the right thing! Your explanation is clear and true. Be well and keep paddling on.
Yours! Jim Franey
Derrick this things happens even in the best families, no more worries. You and your team are very welcome, you see, in a while you forgot all of this. Puerto Rico is calling you.
Words only really have meaning if people give them meaning
Its generally true that we are judged more on our actions and deeds but that doesn’t mean we have to justify them all the time
Onlookers should respect that most people try and do what they do with a degree of integrity and honour most of the time
However, we can never truly predict or legislate how people will react and occasionally have to take it on the chin that something we did made someone unhappy
Sometimes people just stop getting along despite us all wanting to believe we can live in harmony with everyone
You are not the first to come under fire for doing what you believe is right, regardless of motives or reasons, and you’ll not be the last
Just don’t loose sight of what you set out to do nor overlook those who are still on the team
Hi Guys,
Thanks for your thoughts on this. In the end it’s time to move on. I don’t want to be the judge of others actions either. As I said, when you are on the receiving side, it’s hard to know how much defense is the correct action.
Mark, you’re right. Everyone working with me to get this trip done have been very supportive and it’s time we get back on track and focus on a great experience.
Thanks all!