Maybe you’ll go to heaven
See Uncle Al and Uncle Lou
Maybe you’ll be reincarnated
Maybe that stuff’s true
If you were good
Maybe you’ll come back as someone nice
And if you were bad
Maybe you’ll have to pay the priceLife’ll kill ya
That’s what I said
Life’ll kill ya
Then you’ll be dead
Life’ll find ya
Wherever you go
Requiescat in pace
That’s all she wrote
- warren zevon

This is the life. The one life we have. For good and bad. Right or wrong. This is it. With every step we take we open ourselves up to judgment, failure, mistakes, fear, trauma, questions, second guessing, and sometimes even death. Yet, sitting still is no safer in the long run. And then, what is life if you spend it in fear of judgment, injury or loss?. Don’t think for a moment that I’m one to set out on an adventure without having a million visions run through my head. I mean for all I know I could be posting my obituary today! I certainly would hope not!There is no way I can head out on even this tropical adventure without thinking of the wide open ocean and the risks involved. I can’t help but think of Andrew McAuley, Vicky & Finlay and what they went through this past year. The ocean looks just a bit more scary than it did before. But, rationally you can compare and learn. Still we don’t always have options. In the end, “Life ‘ll Kill ya”. Of course with training, wisdom and experience we are quite safe out there. I take a bigger risk just flying there, than actually paddling around the island.

As a father I’m certain I leave myself open to the same criticisms that were laid at Andrew’s feet. Suggestions of selfishness & foolishness. “Leaving your son for a month? Risking your life? What a jerk!” Yet from my perspective I do my son a disservice if I teach him fear of risk, if I limit the possibilities in his mind. You tell you’re children they can be anything they want to be, but you also have to show them by example. Let them see what that actually means. It means work, sacrifice and risk. You can’t just have what you want, you have to earn it. For the last 6 months I’ve been working my tail off to make “Chasing The Ana” happen. Those close to me know at what cost and though what storms.

So why do it then? Well, for me there are a bunch of reasons. I need time to reset, escape a bit from what I feel is a crazy human world. A world that I’ve never felt quite functional in. I want to find for lack of better terms, “life”. On the sea I feel real, alive. With the environment in control you know exactly what your place is in the world. You’re a bug. But you’re also in absolute power. The ocean can at any moment end your existence, but it has no malice. You on the other hand have to become one with your environment. Meld with your environment, experience it sensually and survive. Like an animal you are limited in a clear focus, yet as a human you extend those thoughts into sensual vision. Such a connection with your existence can only be had rarely these days. In the ocean, on a mountain, over a frozen landscape where you’re life is walks a thread. In these moments you are truly part of the universe. Something I feel we’ve lost as humans. Without it, we’re meaner, greedier, angrier, restless. Yeah, I need the ocean to smack me around once in awhile to remind me what this life is. So I can come back and be, I hope, a better me.

And with these thoughts in mind I dedicate this trip to Rolando Kline Medina, who died April 1, 2007. Just 19 years old. Rolando was the son of our ground support heroine Carrie Medina. His death was a terrible loss at a time when we were filled with joy and anticipation of this trip. Rolando’s love of Puerto Rico was an inspiration and I hope to carry a bit of his spirit with every stroke of the paddle.

So this is the last post before I fly out in the morning. You can follow along at the “Chasing The Ana” blog from here. Now with those thoughts written down, let’s go have the time of our lives!

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