proving that the blood is strong
Published December 1, 2007 | 
Hope everybody’s
dancing to their own drum this fine morning —
The beat of distant Africa or a Polish factory town.
Old man, he’s calling for his supper.
Calling for his whisky.
Calling for his sons and daughters, yeah —
Calling all his children round.’
-jethro tull
As a snow storm starts rolling in, today’s the day we gather familiar faces to decorate the Christmas tree. Over time everyone goes off on their separate ways, which of course is the way it should be. Holidays tug at everyone to appear at homes of families new and old; Moms, Dads, step-parents, grandparents and others all expect to see your shining faces. Not so long ago it was much easier. The “kids” only had two families to visit. Here, and their mothers. Now of course, they are grown and have added more families to their lives. The scheduling can get quite complex. The young kids of course have the advantage of a large number of graying adults waiting to stuff them with food and shower them with gifts.
When I was a child my father lived much too far away to see him over the holidays. The negative feelings that my parents could never shake, was of course much more important to them than putting on a good face for sake of their child. From those beginnings I grew to be driven not to be a distant father no matter what was happening in the rest of life. Time passes to quickly and the impact on your kids is too strong to let silly animosities of relationships gone bad to interfere. I always figured my kids can hang me for whatever they wish, but they’ll never say I was not there.
So each year as the pressures of multiple obligations swoop in on these now young adults, we have to continue to work hard to keep those connections. Today we will have them here to decorate the Christmas tree. An event we can move each year to fit into everyones busy lives. Soon we will take the jeep into town to buy a tree from the lot we have visited for many years, then bring it home through the storm. We will drag it through the house leaving puddles of mud, needles and snow along the way. With classic Christmas music and endless chatter filling our ears, we’ll pull out the boxes of decorations and place them on the tree.
Today’s ritual reminds me of days past when we had no money and no myriad boxes of decorations. When for the sake of two small children, money that we did not have was spent on a tiny tree and discount toys and decorations from Wal-mart. Even these small items meant of course that we would be battling to pay our bills over the coming months. The children of course saw no flaws in the cheap toys or decorations, nor did they see sacrifices made provide them with a family tradition. Well, my daughter, now in her 20′s still feels slighted for never getting an Easy Bake oven. (Something that would come in handy now that she’s in college I don’t doubt!!) In time of course those struggles pass. However, the traditions that help to form the basis of their adult characters continues to pay off.
We are never perfect people. Just being an adult or a parent does not stop us from being individuals with lives and tribulations. In the midst of all that we face each day in our own lives, we hopefully remember when it’s time to put others first. First any any cost. In the end, you may not win every battle. . but you may make a difference in the world. Even if it’s only a small one.
Today the “old man” is calling his children home.
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2 Responses to proving that the blood is strong
There’s much good to be said for being there for your children.
Some of my fondest memories of youth were the days spent fishing with my dad. He was always along on boy scout camp outs as well. Pure gold in my treasure of memories. What you said…word.