Where it Comes From
Published November 27, 2008 | 
Charlie Brown: Holidays always depress me.
Sally Brown: I know what you mean. I went down to buy a turkey tree and all they have are things for Christmas.
Charlie Brown: For Christmas? Already?
It’s 3am on Thanksgiving morning and of course I’m wide awake. It’s OK though, I’m getting over this blasted cold and the houseful this afternoon will keep the day busy.
Yesterday we went and picked up our Christmas Tree. Over the last few years we’ve decided that Thanksgiving evening was the time to decorate. One of many traditions we’ve frankly had to make up as we go.
For very different reasons neither Mary nor I come from families with holiday traditions. There’s many reasons that people don’t do these sorts of things of course; religion, family discord, personal views, lack of family, or occasionally they’re just plain grumpy. One thing Mary and I had agreed on was that family tradition was going to be import. There was a whole chain of garbage to fix and this was a good place to start. If the only thing you pass down in your time on the earth is an excuse to bring family together, you can count yourself lucky.
Over time, whether we could afford it or not we slowly encouraged everyone in our families to show up at our home for Thanksgiving and Christmas (4th of July in the summer as well). It took time, and faced the challenges and resistance one would expect in a family where such gatherings just were never done. Sometimes simply getting people out of bed on a holiday is work! At the same time we set about trying to figure out how to make each occasion “traditional” yet personal.
Some families have carried their religious and holiday traditions through generations. Foods, decorations, games and other activities have come across the ocean and across time to still fill homes today. Yet it’s also very American to discount our ancestral roots and just be “American”. Of course the downside of that is that holiday tradition is often decided by overly romanticized visions of Bing Crosby or Leave it to Beaver, and the onslaught of advertising by Wal-Mart and various overly expensive jewelry stores.
Some are guided by their religious backgrounds & convictions of course. Yet the winter holiday season in America has for years been turning strongly secular. It sort of has to. Now more than ever America is made up of such an amazing blend of cultures and traditions and we all desire a winter holiday we can take part in together. Winter Solstice celebrations whatever the name have been with us since the dawn of time after all. Culturally I think we’re still trying to figure out how to create a working “Hanukkah, Christmas, Ramadan, Kwanzaa season, but people keep trying to find a way. On the other hand terms like , “Christmukkah” do sound a bit silly and I have a feeling that if you brought a few folks forward from a couple thousand years ago they’d blow their lids!
Of course most of the folks in our family come from a German, English, Irish background so we tended to look there for traditions. In addition to the Bing Crosby, 1940s holiday lights and hams we’ve blended in some English foods and holiday crackers for the kids (oh, and the adults too), and are anticipating some Hanukkah traditions coming soon as well. (that’s the the thing about daughters. . and a whole other subject!!) However it all goes we will be pleased if the one influences we coral and pass along is a return to a bit more centered family lifestyle.
Which brings us back to the Thanksgiving tree. Two adult children have moved on with their lives. We’ve got a seven year old at home. Then of course there are grandparents and great-grandparents as well. As everyone moves on we realize how quickly the traditions we create move on and thin out. As much as you want to keep family gatherings as part of your tradition, it gets harder. Of course as the kids all move away, it’s also less interesting for us old folks to do all the Christmas stuff. Yet we don’t want the seven year old to suffer our geezer-dom either. So a couple years ago we realized that it was on Thanksgiving when we still had the most captive crowd. All the kids and grandparents in one place at one time. It dawned on us that Thanksgiving night was the perfect time to put up the tree. A time when everyone would be here to take part. In fact it’s a rare opportunity.
The first year we realized it, it was already Thanksgiving and you couldn’t get a tree. The next year we managed to go get the tree the day before. A challenge in of itself since most of the “tree” guys set up the day after Thanksgiving. In the end we worked it out though. That did it. Now we have the tree outside and waiting while we enjoy Thanksgiving. Then in the evening after everyone has settled, when the sky has grown dark, and the second wine bottles are opened it’s time to bring in the Tree. Then the living room is filled for the first time with Christmas music. Holiday lights and Knick-Knacks are brought up from the basement. Then everyone jumps in to decorate, and leave huge messes all over the floor. The first time around I jumped in and helped out. Last year I found a certain joy in just finding a place to sit back and watch as the adult kids took over, with Gryphon gleefully stuck in. This year, we add a grandchild to the mix.
Somewhere late in the evening, with Dean Martin chortling in the background, when the house is first lit by the kaleidoscope glow of the holidays, I see the real value in tradition. Without it, we’re simply passing along genes.
Here’s hoping that everyone that has a holiday today, has a pleasant one.
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3 Responses to Where it Comes From
Hi Derrick, well said, and a happy Thanksgiving to you too. I agree that its good to have traditional celebrations even if just to get the family together, and each family according to their own ideological philosophies. I see no need to combine religious celebrations, let each have their own and bless them all.
Steve
Do you still have that hideous string ornament I made when I was little? Now that’s quite the tradition. haha!
I remember when I was a kid in Paris we would go to bed on December 24th with nothing in the flat. Come the 25th, we (the 4 kids) would wake up and discover a tree up in the living room, full of lights and gifts underneath… Pure magic!
50 years later in Canada with my own grown up kids we all set up the tree together on the 24th, under the adopted principle (I remember reading that somewhere) that there are only two things where good taste dictates that more is better: buoys on Maine lobster shacks and decorations on Christmas trees… Have a great Thanksgiving, and happy decorating!