Ahnu Shoes – Definitely Rule 27. (Rule 2 in the Gaelic New Moon Version)

The best customer service is the customer service you never need which by the way sums up rule 27 (Or Rule 2 in the Gaelic New Moon Version)… but we’ll get there later.

If you really love a product, if it’s really, really great, you’ll tolerate a lot of crappy customer service as long as you rarely have to deal with them (Rule 24b). If a product is useful but always breaking down you’ll still love it IF the customer service is exceptional (i.e. they fly you out a new one to Kerguelen Island over night!) (Rule 11) or by blackmail (if there is nothing comparable out there) (Rule 667). If by some stroke of luck you get a company who actually makes a great product AND provides amazing customer service (Rule 2 or 27 depending on lunar position and ability to speak Gaelic) you are in heaven. Funny how rare that actually is.

So I was talking to a friend yesterday about shoes which got me off on this “product love” cerebration. I thought, “ok let me take stock here..” . Obviously the best stuff you have is the stuff that works great, lasts forever, and never needs fixing. The stuff that falls under Rule 27 of the Paddler’s Guide To Customer Service… (Rule 2 in the Gaelic New Moon Version) And I quote or excerpt, or invent…

Rule 27. Products that work so well you never need customer service = great customer service. By example a fly-by-night company is usually a bad thing, however if they follow “Rule 27″, they are certainly free to fly-by-night since no one will actually care to see them again. Unless that is,  to bask in their reflected golden glory or send them birthday cards which they would prefer not to receive. Therefore flying-by-night” would simply be seen as an act of warm hearted charity in that they are actually saving their customers the humiliation of pubic fawning or of finding their birthday cards un-opened in the corner bin.

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Which of course forced me following my cerebration somewhat further (Yet more quietly and dressed in an overcoat, whilst ducking behind brick walls and various shrubs whenever it became suspicious.).  “Do I have any gear that fall into Rule 27 (Rule 2 in the Gaelic New Moon Version) in my experience? “, I mused to myself. ( Why, Sotto Voce of course.)  Hmmm, let me see…

Ahnu shoes – I love my Ahnu Tempalis II shoes. Figures they don’t make them anymore.. (sorry that jaded response just crept in). I love them because before I got the Ahnus I’d been through seasonal and sometimes bi-seasonal changes in water shoes. I’ve never had to deal with customer service because the product is great. According to the Paddler’s Guide To Customer Service as you know, products that work so well you never need customer service = great customer service.

New Balance shoes- In the same vein I love my New Balance running shoes. Yeah, I do replace them each season. But before I bought them I had no idea why anyone replaced shoes other than when the tread fell off. Now I know. $50 per year for shoes that survive a year of snow, mud, rain, and a heavy guy running deserve an award. Again never needed customer service.

Kokatat PFDs – MisFit PFD (or life Jacket if you like). So I’ve had this PFD for freaking ever. It’s pocket crazy, comfortable and has floated me around for something like 4 years now. It’s gray and dingy but still holding on. The MisFit is of course designed for women but is perfect for men who don’t have that perfect V form. Yeah, I’m bummed that they won’t special order one in black… but even so I have to give kudos for a great, high quality product.

Icebreakers everything – Man I love my Icebreaker clothing. I’ve had the same base & insulation layers now for 5 years or so.  I’ve even washed them at least annually. They are all in great shape. They’ve not gone thin or worn holes or shown any other signs of age. They also still keep me really, really warm while keeping me dry.

Northwater Deck Bag – I use a Northwater peaked deck bag on my boat for trips. I just take that plastic dome out. Mine is 4 years old & faded. But it’s still strong. I may replace it this year because I don’t want to worry about it ripping due to all the sun damage it’s taken. But that’s me being cautious, not necessary the bag. I’ve also used other Northwater products and have always found them to be put together very well.

Reed Chill Cheater tops – Now these guys have been nice enough to sponsor me so I’m biased of course. On the other hand, what piqued my interest in Reed was simply that their gear is what the “hard core” paddlers were wearing. They get off lightly I think sponsoring paddlers since their gear lasts forever. I mean, once you have a Reed paddling jacket you’ll never need another one. Suffice to say I’ve had the same Reed kit for years.  Now I did specify tops. Well that’s because the pants & shorts fall under rule 11c in that the the tape on your bum can separate  if you paddle hundreds of miles, however Chris Reed may fly to Kerguelen Island with fresh tape, a cold drink, 3 Badger Faced Welsh Mountain Sheep and hot iron in hand.. Ok, well maybe not but they do take care of it quickly.

Werner Paddles – I love my Ikelos paddle. I tend to power paddle and the big blade suits me. Even being a large blade it’s light and easy to make dance thorough the water. What’s more when I said, “I love it but I travel so I need a 4 piece.” They did one up. Through the process I talked to real people and they followed up to be sure it was all good.. even though they needn’t have because… it was all good. I keep expecting to roll over in bed in the middle of the night to see a Werner Paddle Rep asking me how my paddle is working out…A fantasy or a nightmare depending on your personal orientation and the Rep I’m sure… (which by the way reminds me of that button cover thingy but that’s another story entirely)

Novorca Paddles. A sponsor again. Thing is, I’ve had this amazing paddle now for almost 2 years and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. It’s the most light and agile Greenland Paddle I’ve ever had, custom fit and being carbon fiber it’s tough as all hell.  I could never talk to Ron again and I’d still have this great paddle.  Of course I do like to talk to Ron because he’s a nice guy and has great stories about Nasa and alien engineering.  You can ask him if the amazing lightness and strength of his paddles indeed do have any relationship to a rumored Roswell crash in 1947 although he’ll deny it.  Regardless it’s much better than calling to complain!

MSR (the whole lot) – My tent, my water filters and other bits of kit are MSR. Again, they last forever and always work. Well, as long as you maintain them. I’ve never had a complaint with my MSR gear. My Ventana tent has seemed to fallen out of vogue but it’s a perfect paddling tent. I put the fabric bits in a vacuum bag on the bottom of the hull and the poles around my skeg box. It’s well traveled, and survived rain, wind, salt water, kids, and more.

So there are my 2009 Rule 27 (Rule 2 in the Gaelic New Moon Version) selections. Almost always perfect most all of the time in my paddling life experience. Fee free to comment and share your selections.

The next list of course would be;

Rule 14, Subjective Affection. (Refer to song by Jimmy Soul)

But we’ll save that for another day. Oh, and yes I do have a, “Rule 666. Companies whose products and customer service leave so much to be desired that you would rather be the personal gardener in charge of Beelzebub’s back yard than to wait on hold to talk to their representatives. Where you’d rather sit strapped in a chair with your eyes pried open while watching a highlight reel of Dick Chaney press conferences with Henry Purcell’s Music for the Funeral of Queen Mary blasted into your head by a commercial Bang and Olufsen sound system, than listen to another reason why your amazingly unique case does not fit their warranty.” list, however I’m sure we should not speak of that one without preceding it with an incantation of the black arts or at the very least in the presence of a slightly tipsy vicar.

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4. A chat with Werner
5. Anasco – Derrick Checks in again