“Derrick, you could start a war with the opinions coming from Trangia defenders and the new school “cooking with gas” users.” – Gnarlydog

Luckily I tend to walk up to the edge of starting wars now and then, but even when we’re talking about cook stoves, cooler heads prevail.

Many of the gear arguments we tend to get into are a bit silly. Silly because we get distracted by a feature war and rarely talk about necessity, simplicity, and reliability which in the end tell us if we are spending our money well. New features more often than not are simply tools that give salespeople something to talk about. It’s understandable really.  It’s hard to keep selling the same old points over and over for years even if you have the best products on the market. People (myself included) are a bit like crows as it is. They want shiney things. So.. you need to be innovative.. even if innovation is counterproductive. You need amazing, fantabulous, new FEATURES!

Let’s be honest, new features mean little if they are only marginally useful, break or cause the product not to function correctly in the first place. There could be a Discovery Channel show called “Cool Technology Goes Wrong” staring GPS units (Tell me where you are now, you bastard!!), cameras, wire skegs, stoves that won’t light, un-dead hatch covers that turn to powder in sunlight, thin hulls that crack when a dragonfly lands on them, and a plethora of other high tech, low reliability door stops. Not to mention the Darwin Award nominations that never make it into production like the 15ft high rear deck flag pole. (Can you see me now!??? )

“Keep it simple stupid” rules if you, like most of us, are not rich and paddle because you actually enjoy being on the water and not fussing with features. The Trangia stove for example came up in a hunt for something dead simple that I couldn’t screw up, that would burn whatever fuel I could get, and would work in any conditions.  On the other hand, it’s relatively featureless. A stove that gets so hot you can weld with it, won’t do much good if it won’t start. A stove that needs hours of finicky maintenance each year is a time thief. Especially if you are not all that mechanically adept. Hey, I know some people love doing maintenance and view it as R&R. Tearing down, cleaning, and putting a stove back together in February can be good therapy. That’s wonderful.. But I just want things to work.

The argument between rope and wire skegs has always been one of simplification. Wire skegs are easily more functional WHEN they work. Yet you can easily repair an old style rope skeg out on the beach if need be. A wire skeg that kinks is not a blessing even if it is an “advanced feature”. In the end we all will forget to put our skeg up sooner or later. When we do, just giving it a tug and moving on is much simpler than a half day of swearing over a kinked wire and a skeg that won’t go up or down. It’s really amazing all the R&D that has gone into modernizing the skeg…

How about water treatment?  Bags, Pumps or Chemicals.. The Miox Purifier is sure simple… if you don’t mind chunks.

Electronics are the biggest sinners when it comes to using features to cast a fog over basic usability. A portable GPS in my experience is a simplification mirage. At a glance they make the paddling life a lot simpler. Well, if you let them. They also call out to your inner geek and inspire you add-on and upgrade.. Ok, if it’s fun.  The other problem with GPS units is between batteries and water resistance they are a bit of a bear to just keep operating for anything more than a day trip. Not to mention that on land you can hardly take a GPS on a walk through the woods and expect it to keep you from getting lost. There is a reason the crusty old salts say, “Just give me a chart, a compass and a good set of eyes”. It’s simpler and if you know what you are doing, infinitely more reliable.  Can you overcome the GPS units shortfalls? Yes. But why should you have to?

Digital cameras are the ultimate in feature madness. All our waterproof cameras have more features than the number of people living in China. The waterproof seals may be bad, they may not figure out how to put a lens cover on them, the buttons may fail, and the screens freeze up.. but boy do they have features!! And don’t we just love talking about them, writing about them and reviewing them? Skip it. How ‘bout a camera that simply fits in your pocket, takes a good photo and works for 10 years without a glitch? ‘come on Pentax.. I dare you!

Occasionally there are features that come along that truly do change our lives or make things more convenient. Advances with Tow Systems, PFDs, & clothing come to mind. More often than not “hot new features” are really just glitter (not that I don’t love glitter!!), that distract us from asking the simple questions like, “Does this actually work in real life?”, “Do I need a blow dryer and a jewlers tool kit to keep it working for more than one year?”, or “Can you justify why I should have to treat this thing like a Ming Vase in the first place?”

Sorry, just having a little featureless rant.. Any thoughts?

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