As the people here grow colder / I turn to my computer / And spend my evenings with it / Like a friend.
I was loading a new programme / I had ordered from a magazine: / Are you lonely, are you lost? / This voice console is a must.
I press Execute.
– kate bush

I keep saying I’m going to get this review done, but then I find myself getting dragged away to do something else. That happens sometimes. It’s life. Sometimes I find myself simply thinking about so many other things that it’s hard to focus on the stuff I should be thinking about. That’s life too. In that regard I don’t think I’ve changed since elementary school. It seems my attention is often captured by something going on outside the window… Wait.. Did I use the word “I” again? It must be another case of rampant narcissism.. That’s life too as it happens.

Part 1. The Twitter

My attention recently was called over to a post on the Pemba Serves blog. I know that blog because of Twitter. In fact, I only learned that Pemba existed because of Twitter. Go figure. Anyway, they have a great guest post right now by someone else I came to know through Twitter. Well, it’s not that I actually, “know” Sara. Really I just know who @theclimbergirl is by the little square image of her hidden behind a green helmet, sunglasses and a smile. Are you still following me? (By “following”, I mean that in a comprehending sort of way and not a Twittery sort of “following” sort of way, of course..Follow?)

So Sara is writing about social media and her positive experiences with it. Sorry, we have to pause again. Now would be a good time to break away and go read her post at Pemba.. I’ll wait…

[ I'm just sitting here. Tapping my fingers on the desk. Waiting.  Listening to Kate. ]

Back?? Ok.

Part 2. The Snark

So then you get this snarky guy who’s comment goes on to tell us how worthless and narcissistic social media actually is. Let me quote some (well, most) of that;

“Social media is by nature superficial and involves only positive feedback, perfect for narcissistic personalities and self-promoters. Don’t fool yourselves that these are “relationships” or “bonds.” At the end it’s all still about marketing, sales, and bottom lines. If social media didn’t advance those things, don’t think for a minute that it would still exist in the industry.”

When I first read that comment I thought, “Wasn’t it the advent of social media, open comments & message boards in particular, that gave voice to the troll & the snark in the first place?”. A little look around at less moderated outlets show that positive feedback is pretty hard to come by online. There is a lot of self-righteousness, finger pointing and hate in this world. (And a lot of negative feedback about positive feedback, come to think about it.)

Part 3. Then I Thought

Then I thought.. Snarky trolls are the epitome of narcissistic personalities. They always seem to be standing on a mountain telling the un-informed the way it really is.. anonymously.. I mean, why bother going through the effort to type in your nasty opinion anyway?  Seems sort of self-serving.  Almost.. well, narcissistic.. I’m just sayin’.

THEN I THOUGHT.. Well, duh!

Part 4. The Epiphany

Did he just state the obvious and not get it all at once? It’s like having your cake and eating it too.. only backwards.  I mean he’s sort of right even though he seems to have misplaced a coma or an inflection somewhere. I’m reminded of that silly line, “You say it like it’s a bad thing.”. I mean,  am I understanding that the point of his comment is something like since self-promoting narcissists use the phone, there’s no value in the telephone? Or did he just state something obvious about capitalism that only makes sense to some when used to oppose public heath care? It’s all so confusing..

Part 5. The Relationship

Just in case you’ve not been following along in this whole life experience thing, relationships and bonds are built on a foundation of superficiality. Babies are cute for a reason.  A 50 year marriage is often formed in the shallow pool of a first date. Without the superficial interactions we share each day, we’d simply be sitting alone at home with nothing to do but write snarky comments on blogs and message boards. Superficiality is the proving ground where we decide to pursue more substantial relationships or to simply move on.

Business is of course all about relationships and bonds. Both good and bad ones. I mean, I have a long term relationship and bond with my phone company for instance. I feel no loyalty and I wouldn’t buy their service if I could choose someone else. I can’t. They know that, so they don’t care about fostering any positive bond between us. Well, other than the “Your call is important to us.” message I hear each time I call when my DSL goes out… Still it must be said that the phone company and I have been engaging together for more years than I care to mention. We have a long term relationship founded on the superficiality of me needing a service and the fact that they are the only ones to provide it in the area.

Part 5. The Narcissistic Cave Man

Nothing about human relationships has changed in 10,000 other than the location of the fire. We’re still gathering around a central location to tell our stories, be it a fire, a market square or Facebook.  Some of the story tellers are steeped in narcissism, some are just great story tellers. The listeners usually know the difference. Every story teller is not a narcissist even if they are the main character in their adventure. It’s all about context actually. (And truth be told, most people are a bit altruist and a bit narcissist and that’s actually bloody normal.)  Some listeners simply can’t tell the difference.

Meanwhile…..around the fire, the hunters sit near the other hunters. The gathers sit with the gatherers. Each small group talks among themselves about their shared experience. Others look on, some with interest, and some with disdain. Some jump in when they have something to share or a question to ask. Some think, “Listen to them. They are all so full of themselves!”. Some think, “I gotta hire me one of those hunters before winter!”, while others think, “I wonder if I can take ‘gatherer’ lessons?”. Some simply think, “Yeah, whatever.” and go back to whittling a flute from the shard of an old antler.

Part 6. The Spin

All relationships and bonds are formed through random connections; family, media, advertising, business lunches, kid’s soccer games, conferences, carpools, symposiums, and yes, Twitter & Facebook as well. Denial of new or social media is a choice but I’m not sure it’s a good one. In business to simply dismiss Facebook & Twitter (and whatever is next) as irrelevant is something akin to still handing out product videos on VHS. Someday bub, the last of your potential customers to have a tape player won’t be buying much of anything. Then what?

Yeah, we have to keep moving don’t we?! Don’t feel bad. Someday Twitter will be old school. Probably by next week sometime.

Part 7. The Conclusion

Where I live we have an old downtown pharmacy. They’ve been selling the same dusty collection of cards and curios for the last 70 years as best as I can guess. But they are still in business. That is not to say they will always be, but for the moment they stand as a beacon to the survival of the old ways. Despite Walgreens & Wal-mart, turn-of-the-century inventory and all the ways the modern business climate is stacked against them, they are still here.  They are in business. I’m not one to slam old school ideas out of hand. Evolution is not the creation of something new from nothing, but it is building upon the tried and true. Extending good ideas into new creations.

The internet has become part of our lives. It has done so, not through altruism (even though there is plenty of goodwill mixed in) but because of its business potential. Luckily the net  has kept its feet in both. Its communication. Its education. Its business. On these screens we build many new relationships. We start superficially. Some grow, some wither and die. Along the way it will keep changing. New media will be old media and something new will come along. Some dude will jump up and say it’s all narcissistic bull puck. Some folks will adapt and some will slip off into the blurry edges, then fade away.

In 10,000 years nothing much has changed. Not even the Snark.

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