And if I only could / I’d make a deal with God
And I’d get him to swap our places
Be running up that road / Be running up that hill
With no problems…
– kate bush

Let’s go off topic a today just because I feel like it! That’s what’s great about a blog after all, the ability to just sit down and blather about whatever madness comes to mind. Today I’m going to talk about my other bad habit… trail running!

I’m not a runner. I’m not sure what a “runner” is exactly but I know there are magazines for it. I don’t look like anyone in those magazines. In fact I’m not sure when you graduate from “non-athletic person caught in an endless battle to stay fit by running” to achieve the label of “RUNNER”. But if you are judging from my old shorts and black cotton t-shirt, I’m certainly no runner!

What I am, is a guy genetically disposed to being fat. What’s worse is that I have a desk job AND I just turned 45. Put all these things together and you’ve got trouble. I’m 5’8″ on a good day. When I started kayaking I weighed just a tad under 300 lbs. In about a year’s time, I brought my weight down to about 200lbs ( I had to fit my bum in a sea kayak after all!). My body likes to maintain around 215lbs in general. I’ve been down to 185 and back up to 240 over the last 4 years or so. Over all that time I’ve lived 90% of my days on 1500 to 1700 calories. Still, I’m not wasting away. THAT, is why I run. I run because it’s the only way I’ve found to keep my weight down closer to the 200 side than the 300. When I stop running, my weight goes right back up, hourly, daily, weekly, monthly. It’s a war and no over simplified, prejudicial BS from thin people will change that. Hey, I quit smoking. I know what it means to commit to change! People’s bodies are unique and some people can produce fat with a surprisingly low calorie intake. Therein lies the struggle.

That said, I’ve dropped about 15 lbs in the last 2 months again. It’s summer and I’m running. My time spent nursing a rolled ankle didn’t help, but I’m glad to be back at it.

I run trails. In my world that means mini-mountainous trails through 500 ft hills, over hard, rock strewn forest paths and down through wet muddy valleys. I run on average of 10 miles a week, running 3-4 miles, 3 days a week. The rest of the week I hike, bike or paddle. Rarely a day goes by when I don’t spend an hour or two doing some outdoor activity. Some days I’ll both run and paddle in the course of the day.

Now let me re-iterate this point to be crystal clear; I weigh over 200lbs, I’m short, I’m 45, I work a desk job, and I run a 5k at least 3 days a week and I am not a runner. The people in the magazines are alien to my lifestyle. . I’m not 6’1″ 160 lbs. I was not a high school athlete. I don’t run local marathons for charity. I don’t keep logs. I don’t wear electronics to measure my pulse rates moment by moment. I don’t know who holds or breaks records. I don’t get caught up in abstract discussions about compression socks. I just run. A lot.

Now, part of the reason I’m going off on this little tirade is because I feel good about my running, simply because I can. Very few folks in my daily circle could run with me and that means something even if I don’t look like the cliché runner. I want others who run but who don’t fit the magazine mold, to feel good about their running as well. I’d also like to encourage more folks to give running a go, even if they don’t feel they are the “running” type. If we’re not tall and svelte it’s easy to feel put down and looked down upon by real, “runners”. I can’t tell you the number of surprised, almost disdained looks I see when I come upon other runners on my local trails! It can be hard to stay focused and up about your achievements when you will never achieve the “runner” look, or when people around you act as if they think you’re full of sh#t when you talk about running. Sometimes it’s easy to ask yourself, “Why bother?”.

Here’s what I can tell you. Even if no one cares, run. My doc knows my heath and knows I paddle and run. He’s not shocked that I can do what I do (anyone could), but he is pleased that I am doing it. That’s more than most people these days and in some sense just being able to run any distance is a badge of honor. Hell, just being active is a huge victory in our society!  Think about it; How many people in your office or in the stores you shop at each evening could actually run a mile if asked?  How many could jump in a kayak and paddle sun-up to sun-set, then get up in the morning a do it again? How many could jump on a bike and climb a rocky slope without getting off to walk?  Maybe the bigger question is how many can set a good example for, encourage or even keep up with their kids?  Where’s that going to lead?

Beyond physical health, there is a psychological benefit as well. For me, running is the only time I feel 100% focused and at peace with life, my environment and my planet. Running strengthens your connection  to the big picture . Running draws you back to your primal existence. Running reminds you that when that when all your toys are taken away, all that remains is you, the beating of your heart, the sound of your breath, and the pulsing of universe. It’s the real reality.

So for what it’s worth, I run. I’m not an athlete. I’m not a runner. (Sara Palin is a runner!) I’m just a 45 year old guy trying my best to stay healthy enough to enjoy life as long as possible. It’s not  conquering Everest, but these days just running at all is a rare enough activity as is.

Maybe someday there will be a magazine called something like, “Just Trying To Keep Breathing Day By Day Magazine” where I’ll fit right in. Which reminds me.. I have my first “official” running shoe review coming up… (From a non-runner’s perspective of course!) Stay tuned!

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