September ’75 I was 47 inches high
Mom said someday I would have
A bad ass mother G.I. Joe
for your little minds to blow
I still got beat up after class
– ben folds

“Wow, those are some impressive numbers Greg.” “Yes, they are Marve. Now let’s see what the judge from Denmark has to say.” - So here’s the thing.  I’ve been pissing a lot of folks off recently. I even pissed off the manager of the local homeless shelter! Unusual for me, really.  But I’ve been told if you are not making someone mad, you’re hiding.  I get that…

Well I’ve not gone off on an off-topic belly button staring rant in awhile maybe today’s the day.  I mean it is Friday after all.   I have a bunch of new posts lined up, but they won’t be ready today.  We have a look at at Laurie Geoghegan’s Nadgee kayaks coming, and my low impact roll to talk about.  I’m seeking the wise input of Michigan Greenland kayak coach Diane Carr on that one.  She’s mastered the art of telling me how screwed up I am without offending me too much so I take her advice well. LOL!  I also want to talk about folks who do great trips and never tell us about them.. oh and then there’s the email from Clear Blue Hawaii and a GearPod update.. But that’s next week, today I’m going to rant..

So here’s the thing.  I’ve been pissing a lot of folks off recently. I even pissed off the manager of the local homeless shelter! Unusual for me, really.  I think I’m channeling my inner Anti-Lama. (It’s like an Anti-Christ with only half the carbs.) But I’ve been told if you are not making someone mad, you’re hiding.  I get that.  What’s more, there’s been this whole creepy, shallow, screamy, shouty, touchy, always offended, vibe going on all over and it seems to just be getting a bit worse each day.  I have a hard time figuring out if I’m becoming infected by it, or revolting against it.  I mean I’ve spent way too much time over the years lying down and letting bone heads take shots or pass judgments, or get all up in my face about some BS.  These days I just feel less like taking their crap.  I’m feeling more like the old guy at the McDonald’s bi*$hing about the flavorless eggs, only I don’t have a story about how it was “back in my day”. I’m not sure what it is, maybe it’s just turning 45 this year.  Maybe I’m finally cracking up here in the parlous chambers of the Dewfawl Inn.  Who knows.  But suffice to say.. I’ve not been very good at walking away lately.  My first reaction to conflict recently is to envision a full frontal B*tchslap, as a bunch of Olympic judges hold up their big cards:

Announcer: 8.2, 9.2, 7.9, 10.0
Audience: Yeah!!!!!

Announcer 1: “Wow, those are some impressive numbers, Greg.”
Announcer 2:“Yes, they are, Marve.  Now let’s see what the judge from Denmark has to say.”
Announcer 2:9.7
Announcer 1:“And that’s a new B*tchslap record!!  Whaddya know!?!!”
Announcer 2:“Oh, he’ll never get up again, Marve.”,
Announcer 1:“Not with out help anyway…”
Announcer 2:Nope. Not without help.”
Announcer1:Back to you in the studio…”
Studio: Are you tired of the constant pain and itch of swollen hemorrhoid tissue?…….

Sorry… lost it again…. Now where were we?

Oh, yeah, “Next Week”.  Well, I’ve got all this stuff to write about next week.. and I WILL do it.. Unless I find myself getting into a bar fight with some jolly guy in a flowered shirt outside the local dive.. Yeah.. right.. Some guy in Dockers outside the Coffee house then!

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