I wanted the ocean to cover over me
I wanna sink slowly without getting wet
- counting crows
I’m thinking about life changes today. People who know me well, know that I’ve been due for a few. Of course, all that human stuff gets in the way, fear, complacency, self-doubt and the rest. We all deal with this stuff in varying degrees. Sometimes it’s easier to accept the devils you know, than to leap from a cliff in the hope of a soft landing in a better place.
The other day, I found myself saying to someone, “We have all the time in the world.”, but almost as soon as that little cliché of assurance came out of my mouth I realized that I don’t really believe that. I know that life is fleeting. It’s that strange contradiction that often has me holding on too long, then suddenly taking a swan dive into life changes with little preparation or forethought. Because after all, if you think too hard, you’re back under control of doubts and fears. Of course not looking before you leap can cause a lot of trauma… Been there!
So changes are afoot.. The dive in progress. Can’t say how the landing will be. I’m changing myself within and without. Dropped 24 lbs as of today (with 23 to go), engaged in new business ventures, found myself paddling regularly again and listening to music once more like the drug it used to be to me back in my teen years. I’m awake, thinking, scrapping and burning bridges.. Sometimes this is the only way to save yourself from yourself… Cross your fingers!
And what has this got to do with pelicans? Nothing really. I guess I was thinking that they are well designed to catch and hold on to the good stuff. I’d like to be more like that.