Sue and I often say, “This isn’t our first rodeo.” I’m sure that doesn’t sound romantic, but it’s true, honest and practical. We both realized that just because you make a big deal about your wedding or spend yourself into the ground, it doesn’t mean it will last. In fact recent studies have found that the more spend on your wedding, the shorter the marriage. And let’s face it, we’ve grown older. If you live long enough, life will trip you up and kick your around now and again. You’ll think you have it all sussed and later learn that you were totally clueless. We’re weather worn, shell-shocked, battle weary.. and leary. In some ways I think our wedding last Sunday felt like landing on the crash pad after years of feeling my fingers slip from the crevices in the rocks.
No wait, you know what it’s really like? It’s like tourists from a small town in the midwest and becoming separated in New York’s Grand Central Station during rush hour. You feel that heavy weight in your stomach as your eyes peer through the crowd. You touch moments of recognition; similar clothing, similar hair, a familiar pitch in a distant voice, etc., You turn in one direction or walk in another but before long you lose them in the crowd or they turn around and you realize that they are not who you’re looking for. Then suddenly, just when you really think you might begin to panic, you turn around and crash, wide-eyed, right into your partner. Well, that’s what it feels like for me anyway.
The first time I really looked at her, I couldn’t breath.. Now after the wedding, and after my 50th birthday, I am breathing more slowly and calmly than ever before.
(Oh, and yes I realize my whole “lost in a crowd” metaphor falls apart in the days of cellphones, but hey, I’m a geezer, just roll with it!)